Topic Explanation:

The forum discussion revolves around the challenges of dating with an ileostomy. The original poster, PAS, has had an ileostomy for seven years and is struggling with when and how to disclose this to potential partners. PAS has tried both immediate disclosure and waiting until a relationship develops, but both approaches have led to rejection once the partners learn about the ileostomy. PAS is seeking advice on how to navigate dating with an ileostomy, expressing frustration and disappointment with the current situation.

Advice and Insights:

1. Timing of Disclosure:
- Many suggest not disclosing the ileostomy immediately. Instead, wait until the relationship becomes more serious or when you feel comfortable and trust the person.
- Show potential partners that the ileostomy is not a big deal by being confident and treating it as a minor inconvenience.

2. Approach to Disclosure:
- When disclosing, do so in a nonchalant manner to convey that it is not a significant issue.
- Use humor or light-hearted comments to ease the conversation about the ileostomy.

3. Confidence and Self-Perception:
- Confidence is key. View yourself as a person first, not defined by the ileostomy.
- Focus on your attributes and what you bring to a relationship beyond the ileostomy.

4. Understanding and Acceptance:
- Recognize that not everyone will be accepting, but those who are worth your time will look past the ileostomy.
- It's important to find someone who appreciates you for who you are, not just your physical attributes.

5. General Dating Challenges:
- Dating is challenging for everyone, not just those with an ileostomy. Many people face rejection for various reasons.
- Chemistry and attraction are important, and these can develop over time.

6. Practical Tips:
- Consider using intimacy wraps or other products to feel more comfortable during intimate moments.
- Keep the pouch relatively empty during intimate encounters to avoid discomfort.

7. Encouragement and Positivity:
- Stay positive and persistent in your search for a partner.
- Remember that the right person will come along, and it's important not to give up hope.

8. Community Support:
- Engage with communities or forums for support and shared experiences.
- Consider the possibility of relocating to areas with more dating opportunities if feasible.