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Jul 14, 2024

The Importance of Physical Touch for Ostomates in Relationships

This topic is about a woman who has been married for 48 years and is experiencing a lack of physical touch and intimacy after undergoing ostomy surgeries. She was born with a condition called bladder exstrophy and has had various surgeries over her lifetime, including a colostomy and a urostomy. These changes have affected her physical comfort and her relationship with her husband, who seems to have withdrawn from physical closeness. Here are some pieces of advice and insights that might help:

1. Recognize the importance of daily, non-sexual touch. Simple gestures like a hug or a morning kiss can help alleviate feelings of isolation.

2. Open up gentle communication about your needs. Let your partner know that cuddling is still welcome and that it can be done comfortably.

3. Discuss the concept of "Love Languages" with your partner. Understanding which expressions of love are most meaningful to each of you can help strengthen your connection.

4. Approach intimacy as a shared experience. Look for opportunities to connect physically outside the bedroom, such as holding hands during a walk, giving a shoulder rub while watching TV, or sharing spontaneous hugs.

5. Start with small, low-pressure gestures to rebuild closeness. This could be as simple as reaching for his hand, planning a short outing together, or reminiscing about a happy memory you both share.

6. Consider seeking help from an independent couples or sex therapist. Sometimes, having an objective third party can provide new perspectives and solutions.

7. Verbally reassure your partner by expressing how much you miss the physical closeness. He might be avoiding touch out of concern for your comfort or the appliances.

8. If the lack of intimacy continues and causes unhappiness, it might be time to consider deeper counseling or reevaluate the current state of your marriage to ensure it meets both of your needs.
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