This topic is about the challenges some people face in their marriages after undergoing ostomy surgery. The surgery, which involves having a stoma and wearing an ostomy bag, can sometimes lead to difficulties in maintaining sexual intimacy and can strain the relationship. Here are some pieces of advice and insights shared by others who have experienced similar situations:

1. Relationship options:
- Try to mend the marriage through open, honest conversations or seek professional counseling together.
- If attempts to repair the relationship fail and the situation becomes unbearable, consider separation or divorce, but carefully consider the emotional and financial implications.
- Only accept the current situation if both partners can truly live with it; otherwise, it may just prolong unhappiness.

2. Communication strategies:
- Start with a calm discussion about each partner’s feelings regarding the surgery, avoiding the topic of intimacy initially to prevent defensiveness.
- Create a safe space where both partners can express themselves without fear of upsetting the other. If one partner is unwilling to talk, consider involving a therapist or counselor.

3. Give time and reassurance:
- Understand that spouses may need time to adjust both visually and emotionally. As the person with the ostomy becomes more confident, it can help their partner feel more at ease.

4. Self-image matters:
- Personal stories highlight that the ostomate’s own discomfort or shame can be a significant barrier. Working on self-acceptance and body confidence can help reopen the door to intimacy.

5. Counseling specifics:
- Look for therapists who have experience with body-image issues related to medical devices or who work with couples dealing with chronic illness.

6. Practical intimacy tips:
- Some find that concealing or securing the pouch during intimate moments can help both partners feel less distracted. Experiment to discover what works best for you.

7. If abandonment occurs:
- Some have shared experiences of partners leaving years after surgery. While this is painful, it’s important to build personal resilience, create a support network of friends and family, and remember that a fulfilling single life or future relationships are still possible.

8. Gender generalizations:
- Reactions can vary widely regardless of gender. Focus on individual behaviors rather than stereotypes.

9. Core takeaway:
- Remember, you are still the same person. You deserve respect, affection, and a partner who honors the commitment of "in sickness and in health.