Unmasking the Screen: Who's Really Behind the Computer?

Oct 04, 2019 7:17 am

That's quite an interesting question, don't you think?

Many ostomates go about their everyday life as if it's great. They go to work every day and their co-workers have no clue about who this person really is. Once they get home the mask is taken off.

Many are truly lonely and alone once they leave the work environment. They have no family or friends, but what they do have is a computer or similar device as an outlet.

We use these devices to speak up and speak out. We say things to and about others we wouldn't dare say face to face or person to person. So I ask you again, who's behind the screen?

Other instances exist where we have some prior to their surgery were happily married and are still with their spouses. Of course you have those that significant others are no longer with them for different reasons.

On this site, it's not just our fellow ostomates even some of those visiting non-ostomates are simply lonely and looking for friendship, romance and simply trying to find a sense of belonging.

Many of us practically live on the computer, I wonder why? Yet some claim to have such a wonderful life. Some have been ostomates for years and or were born with a problem or problems that in turn left them in the current condition.

We hate what happened to our bodies after surgery. Meaning, sometimes the surgery leaves us unable to be intimate or just the sight of our anatomy won't allow us to love or be loved.

This is not an easy thing to accept. I wonder do we accept self-pity? Many of us move on in life and simply accept our fate. Some die and never again experience life behind the screen while others have reversals and move on with whatever life has to offer. Some find a site such as this one or another and start saying and doing things behind the screen. It's almost like lacking blood in dire need of a transfusion.

We seem to come back to the question, who's behind the screen?



Oct 04, 2019 2:56 pm

Hello Angelicamarie. Thanks for another thought-provoking question, which I have never really thought much about until now. All I can say at this point is that "This is me -for now." I'm not sure why I was drawn to this site and I am still not sure why I keep coming back. Loneliness is not a problem at my end, as I am quite content with my own company when others are not around. Notwithstanding the fact that I do like other people's company at times and I am happy to seek it out when appropriate. In my case, I have always worked with people, so when I have time to myself I like to make the most of it.  Sitting at a computer screen is often quite educational and it beats watching rubbish on TV. More often than not, the person behind this screen is a writer and rhymist. These activities make the available time fly by so fast I am sometimes quite relieved when I have exhausted the things I feel I need to say or write. 

I rarely ever contemplate too hard on who might be at the other end of on-screen conversations or correspondence and accept what people have to say at face value, even though I am aware that some of it might be false.

I feel it doesn't really matter because there are others listening in who are genuinely interested in the correspondence and this makes it worthwhile. 

Best wishes 


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Why Join MeetAnOstoMate?

First off, this is a pretty cool site with 33,992 members. Get inside and you will see.

It's not all about ostomy. Everything is being discussed.

Many come here for advice or to give advice 🗣, others have found good friends 🤗, and there are also those who have found love 💓. Most of all, people are honest and truly care.

Privacy is very important - the website has many features that are only visible to members.

Create an account and you will be amazed.

Oct 04, 2019 6:39 pm

Hi Bill, thanks for your input. It's much appreciated....



Past Member
Oct 04, 2019 11:09 pm

Mirror, mirror on the wall

Hi Angel, Bill

Oct 04, 2019 11:38 pm

Hi Sueaxe, who's the fairest of them all! Lol


How to Manage Emotions with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister
Oct 05, 2019 10:20 am

Angelica - As usual, you've written another interesting post. February 5th, 2019, was my reversal surgery after having an ileo for 6 months. I'm one of those fortunate success stories. Of course, things are different now, and I still have to be careful about what and how much I eat, as I don't have a colon. At first, I was afraid to leave the house. My biggest fear was having to use a public bathroom and have the toilet not flush!! Even now, when I know that I'll be in someone else's home, I won't eat anything beforehand. I read other people's stories and sometimes feel guilty for having had it so easy, not to mention that I have a significant other who is 100 percent supportive. I've gotten so much out of this website and truly feel for those of you who have it so much worse than I. But I feel it necessary to let folks hear about the success stories.