I had a colon resection in 2011. Because of the shortened colon, and side effects from chemo and radiation, I had to deal with fecal incontenence and the resulting soreness and raw skin on my rear from constant wiping, and embarrassment which could happen at any time. I fought that with meds with little effect for over 4 years, until other side effects from the radiation treatment caused a perforated colon, peritonitis, and subsequent ostomy.
It did take several months before I really got used to the routine of caring for it, but I think the time it took to get used to it was shortened extremely by the fact that I no longer had the incontinence issues, or the pain in the rear (literally) from going and wiping all the time (and I do mean ALL the time!). My life was so much freer when compared to the hell I was going through BEFORE my ostomy, that I have come to look at it as my saving grace, not a foreign thing that would never be a part of me.
In fact, I had to go look up when I had it done to remember exactly how long ago it was - almost 4-1/2 years ago now.
I think a large portion of acceptance has to do with what your life was like before it. For someone who had a rich, exciting life prior to the sudden discovery of cancer or some other debilitating condition that led swiftly to the sudden acquisition of this foreign object that is now "part of your body", there's barely time to come to terms with the disease, much less the cure! A life post-ostomy is extremely hard to accept, because it it being compared with life pre-disease, not to life that would otherwise have been cut short. For those people who had a horrible time battling something like Crohn's or something similar for some years, acceptance can come a bit easier because life actually gets better.
Of course, there's exceptions to everything, and I could easily be wrong - I'm working off an awfully small sample size!
At any rate, life can be, and has been in the past, a lot rougher than I have it right now, so I am satisfied.
And puppyluv, I definitely second your opinion that they ought to be able to install a valve we can just open and close to take care of things!