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Ok, let me get this straight ... you have intimate sex without your partner knowing you have an ostomy?

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Tue Jan 21, 2020 11:55 am

Yo Gang!

  Ok, I've had enough.  Since joining this site this past summer (or maybe it was the spring), I've read with my own two eyes at least 3 or 4 ostomates claim they've had INTIMATE sexual relations (with a fellow human being) and their partner was totally unaware of their ostomy.  SAY WHAT???  So I need to know what the hell you're talking about.  Unless you're talking about a hummer in the car in a bar parking lot on a Friday night.......or you consider phone sex to be intimate.....I have no idea how you guys can make such a claim.  What exactly are you calling "intimacy" and is the other person alive and awake? Are they hog tied to the bed and blindfolded?  Are we talking about making love to a blind double amputee? No? Then what gives........fess up!  

  This has been bugging me for a while and then someone brought it up again this week in the a current popular thread. So please explain in excrutiating detail, like you're talking to a 10 year old, how it's possible to have intimate sexual relations (hugging, caressing, rubbing, tickling, licking, etc) with someone and have them NOT know you have an ostomy?  By all means feel free to PM me if you're shy or would rather everyone else not know your secret......and I promise not to tell, cross my heart/hope to die, etc.  Wild monkey sex on the bear skin rug in front of the fireplace just hasn't been the same with my trusty poop bag by my side.........so let us all in on this one. (Or just me.)

thanks,

bob

Tue Jan 21, 2020 2:55 pm

Wild monkey sex on the bearskin rug? Bob, you're killing me!!😂 I can tell that you're sitting on the edge of your seat waiting for an answer, so here goes:  a Tickle Trunk full of sexy lingerie! Bustiers, corsets, crotchless, leather, silk, satin - whatever! Naked isn't quite as enticing as it used to be - in fact, maybe best left to the imagination. You get it now? Bob? You there, Bob? Good grief, he's fainted!

Tue Jan 21, 2020 3:55 pm

No idea how it's possible defenatelty wouldn't happen with me I want to undress & caress every inch of a womans bodys and more! Someone I used to know very well we used to text daily for years  and met as friends as lived near me told me when she met her then husband before they got married she didn't eat before they got down to it! so bag wouldn't fill up ( I could never understand how that worked with an ileostomy as you still get wind that would fill bag and noisy) she said she used to wear basques and push his hands away when they got near ostomy (he wasn't do something right if you ask me if her mind was on the bag and not enjoying the pleasures she should of been recieving lol)....then after they were married she told him he wasn't a happy man!

Not sure anymore what was or wasn't true about everything they told me.

 

I would think something very odd was going on if everytime I was caressing that body and she was a HOTTIE my hands were pushed away

Tue Jan 21, 2020 5:17 pm

Hi Pad,

 Oh, silly me.....now I see...........I just have to wear a sexy girdle and bra when I have sex with a hottie and she'll never know I have a stoma and a large condom holder attached to my waist.  Now why the heck didn't I think of that??? Actually, that might work because she'd be so busy laughing hysterically after seeing me in that getup that she'd probably pee herself silly, then get embarrassed because of it and leave!   Heck, I'll even throw on my combat boots as well just to throw her off the scent.  Yes, pun intended.  

 So I think I'm still with Panther on this one........I can buy what you're saying Pad, for maybe a one-time thing, but I must be doing the "intimate" thing differently than you.  When I'm done there's not an inch of my partner's body that I haven't caressed, massaged, licked or biten.......so there's no way you'd hide something like a bag of shit from me........and sexy clothes are MADE to be removed (in my book).  You still haven't convinced me.....but I appreciate the effort.  Maybe if you posted a video?

;0)

thanks,

bob

Tue Jan 21, 2020 9:52 pm

Bob..i think u need to speak to honest abe about this subject. He must be doing somthing right dude. He always uses the exclamation points. When he answers. To me thats keepung mr happy...happy..

Tue Jan 21, 2020 10:45 pm

Sorry - videos are for private collection only! 👠

Tue Jan 21, 2020 10:48 pm

I've been around a very long time and tend to forget things.  Please define INTIMATE.  Oh, and if you can, please help me with the  "wild monkey sex".  Are the monkeys wild?  And what's sex?

Mike

Tue Jan 21, 2020 10:50 pm
Padfoot wrote:

Sorry - videos are for private collection only! 👠


honk honk. that sounds like an invitation. hee hee

Tue Jan 21, 2020 11:08 pm

Hey Bob! You showed us your new hat; now show us your bra and girdle!

Wed Jan 22, 2020 12:20 am
Bagface wrote:

Hey Bob! You showed us your new hat; now show us your bra and girdle!


PLEASE DON'T TEMPT HIM! G0ODNESS, WE SAW HIS DUCK, HIS HAT.. HIS GLASSES. HIS BURGER KING CROWN.. PLEASE.  DON'T TEMPT HIM.

TTTTKKKK TTTTK TTTTKK

WE INTERUPT THIS POST TO BRING YOU THIS LIVE ANNOUNCEMENT HERE IN THE HEART LAND OF MARYLAND WHERE AN UNKNOW MAN

,LOOKING LIKE SPIDERMAN AND CROSS DRESSED IN VICTORIA SECRETS RED LACED BRA AND PANTIES WITH "SKY HIGH" HEELS JUST ENTERED A LOCAL  BURGER KING AND ASKED FOR A WHOPPER TO GO.. FILM AT ELEVEN..

UH OH. TOO LATE.

Wed Jan 22, 2020 12:29 am

Hahahahahahahahaha is all I can say! Laughing my ass off! Too funny guys! 
pup

Wed Jan 22, 2020 1:07 am

Hi Guys,

  I'll reply to all your posts shortly......I'm busy digging thru the clothes my ex-girlfriend left in my closet to appease Costello.  Found a bra (hmmmmm....seems to be a bit bigger than I remember).........now I just need to find them damn panties...........

Bud Abbott

Wed Jan 22, 2020 5:55 pm

There are lovely looking covers you can use or get some  made to fit. When questioned I have said I have had an operation on my stomach and its scarred and bandaged. Remember, everything is fair in love and war. It should be tightly taped and empty. I have got away with it in different cities but keeping my fingers crossed. Simple. No girdles, bra or lingerie required. Good luck.

Wed Jan 22, 2020 6:38 pm
bowsprit wrote:

There are lovely looking covers you can use or get some  made to fit. When questioned I have said I have had an operation on my stomach and its scarred and bandaged. Remember, everything is fair in love and war. It should be tightly taped and empty. I have got away with it in different cities but keeping my fingers crossed. Simple. No girdles, bra or lingerie required. Good luck.

hmm i think to "get away" with operation on my stomach idea...hmm u could also say u have hernia and the wrap , which looks like a back support could be explained, that it helps.. but then what do u do when the damn thing starts"talking".  ha ha. u know burping,, gurgling..  farting.. what would u say about that??  cause that will happen i believe.. i think i would just leave a loose t- shirt on.. and get the job done in the dark.. i dont see how anyone can really hide this thing and get away with it.. altho Bob...   i think could.. he's  part magician.. and u know what magicians do?? keep you focused on one thing while  doing another.. and he's got a ton of tricks up his sleeve.   he's da man. 

Wed Jan 22, 2020 6:44 pm
panther wrote:

No idea how it's possible defenatelty wouldn't happen with me I want to undress & caress every inch of a womans bodys and more! Someone I used to know very well we used to text daily for years  and met as friends as lived near me told me when she met her then husband before they got married she didn't eat before they got down to it! so bag wouldn't fill up ( I could never understand how that worked with an ileostomy as you still get wind that would fill bag and noisy) she said she used to wear basques and push his hands away when they got near ostomy (he wasn't do something right if you ask me if her mind was on the bag and not enjoying the pleasures she should of been recieving lol)....then after they were married she told him he wasn't a happy man!

Not sure anymore what was or wasn't true about everything they told me.

 

I would think something very odd was going on if everytime I was caressing that body and she was a HOTTIE my hands were pushed away

oh Panther - you sexy beast you!!!

Wed Jan 22, 2020 7:04 pm
warrior wrote:


PLEASE DON'T TEMPT HIM! G0ODNESS, WE SAW HIS DUCK, HIS HAT.. HIS GLASSES. HIS BURGER KING CROWN.. PLEASE.  DON'T TEMPT HIM.

TTTTKKKK TTTTK TTTTKK

WE INTERUPT THIS POST TO BRING YOU THIS LIVE ANNOUNCEMENT HERE IN THE HEART LAND OF MARYLAND WHERE AN UNKNOW MAN

,LOOKING LIKE SPIDERMAN AND CROSS DRESSED IN VICTORIA SECRETS RED LACED BRA AND PANTIES WITH "SKY HIGH" HEELS JUST ENTERED A LOCAL  BURGER KING AND ASKED FOR A WHOPPER TO GO.. FILM AT ELEVEN..

UH OH. TOO LATE.


Warrior- lmao!!!

Wed Jan 22, 2020 10:45 pm

Here it is.  Can you see it now! 

Thu Jan 23, 2020 5:48 am

Warrior,

 I may have a few tricks up my sleeve, but even Houdini couldn't pull this shit off. Folks with a colostomy, where they can irrigate and then go for periods of time without having to wear a bag 24/7, might be able to hide their stoma for a short time, but not indefinitely, and the rest of us just ain't hiding our shitbag from our sexual partners. Just wanted to make sure I wasn't missing something. Still looking for those panties.......may have to pickup a pair next time I go to Walmart if I still can't find them. Would a bikini bottom satisfy your curiosity?

Hasta manana,

Bob

Thu Jan 23, 2020 7:04 am
w30bob wrote:

Warrior,

 I may have a few tricks up my sleeve, but even Houdini couldn't pull this shit off. Folks with a colostomy, where they can irrigate and then go for periods of time without having to wear a bag 24/7, might be able to hide their stoma for a short time, but not indefinitely, and the rest of us just ain't hiding our shitbag from our sexual partners. Just wanted to make sure I wasn't missing something. Still looking for those panties.......may have to pickup a pair next time I go to Walmart if I still can't find them. Would a bikini bottom satisfy your curiosity?

Hasta manana,

Bob

Oh... man.. seeing u in panties or a bikini bottom just doesnt make my day dude.

It was bagface I think asking about that.. you had me at Theresa's?? bra mention. =)

prefer seeing HER in it than you, my friend.  Carry on...

Thu Jan 23, 2020 8:57 pm

Hi W,

  You're right, it was Bagger who first mentioned the bra and girdle (she's a wild one from NY.......not quite Jersey, but close).  Then you said "LOOKING LIKE SPIDERMAN AND CROSS DRESSED IN VICTORIA SECRETS RED LACED BRA AND PANTIES WITH "SKY HIGH" HEELS JUST ENTERED A LOCAL BURGER KING AND ASKED FOR A WHOPPER TO GO.. FILM AT ELEVEN..".  And I WAS planning on wearing my Spidey hat, of course.  But you're right (again), I can't go around giving everybody free peeks at me in my finest lusty attire.  So sorry folks, no pics of yours truly decked out in a bra and panties (or girdle or bikini bottom). Whew!.....sure glad we cleared that up......the pressure was getting unbearable.

  I think I'm still waiting to hear how you'all are "gettin' it on" without your partner knowing you got a "frontbutt".  And YES, I'm copyrighting "frontbutt" for use on my own ostomy website when they throw me off this one.  

;0)

bob

 

Thu Jan 23, 2020 9:19 pm
w30bob wrote:

Hi W,

  You're right, it was Bagger who first mentioned the bra and girdle (she's a wild one from NY.......not quite Jersey, but close).  Then you said "LOOKING LIKE SPIDERMAN AND CROSS DRESSED IN VICTORIA SECRETS RED LACED BRA AND PANTIES WITH "SKY HIGH" HEELS JUST ENTERED A LOCAL BURGER KING AND ASKED FOR A WHOPPER TO GO.. FILM AT ELEVEN..".  And I WAS planning on wearing my Spidey hat, of course.  But you're right (again), I can't go around giving everybody free peeks at me in my finest lusty attire.  So sorry folks, no pics of yours truly decked out in a bra and panties (or girdle or bikini bottom). Whew!.....sure glad we cleared that up......the pressure was getting unbearable.

  I think I'm still waiting to hear how you'all are "gettin' it on" without your partner knowing you got a "frontbutt".  And YES, I'm copyrighting "frontbutt" for use on my own ostomy website when they throw me off this one.  

;0)

bob

 

Told u bro..speak to honest abe. 

Thu Jan 23, 2020 9:39 pm

Warrior,

  You mean Honest Abe wants to see me in a bra and panties too???  My gosh.........what is it with you guys???

HA-HA!

  As they say in Yersey.......No!...How YOU doin'?

 

later,

Spidey

 

 

Thu Jan 23, 2020 10:24 pm
warrior wrote:

Told u bro..speak to honest abe. 

You guys are a riot!! I like the "Bagger"! 

Thu Jan 23, 2020 10:58 pm
w30bob wrote:

Warrior,

  You mean Honest Abe wants to see me in a bra and panties too???  My gosh.........what is it with you guys???

HA-HA!

  As they say in Yersey.......No!...How YOU doin'?

 

later,

Spidey

 

 

(bangs head on desk) no no.. dear Bob.. what I meant is I recall a  few posts and months ago, I think it was Honest Abe saying he had no trouble "getting busy" with his girlfriends.. ( pural form)  in fact I do believe he said "they didn't even notice it"---- (the bag.-- at least that's what I was led to believe he meant.......)

therefore....  since you're so.... interested in an answer, I suggested you speak to the man, the myth, the legend-in-making- himself. Abe..

Now I have not seen him post  in a while.. perhaps he ran off and got married without telling a soul?? oh even better he got boinked  one too many times and is in recovery..??  the former unlikely, the latter I'd bet the farm on it.     dig?  Warrior 

 

Thu Jan 23, 2020 11:51 pm

Total entertainment! Thanks guys, saving me a fortune not having to go to the movies or subscribe to cable tv! Haha

 

Puppy

Fri Jan 24, 2020 12:00 am
Puppyluv56 wrote:

Total entertainment! Thanks guys, saving me a fortune not having to go to the movies or subscribe to cable tv! Haha

 

Puppy

like taxes dear, your bill is coming...

Fri Jan 24, 2020 12:23 am

Haha Nothing in life is free anymore! Damn!

Fri Jan 24, 2020 12:53 am

You Guys are friggin killing me....LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL..

Fri Jan 24, 2020 6:52 am

Folks,

 It's about time this site had a little humor associated with it......glad everyone enjoys our banter!

Warrior.......oh I remember 'old Abe. He is one of the folks I'm expecting to join in this conversation any time now......but you're right in that he hasn't posted in a while. I hope everything is ok. Hopefully he's too busy "gettin' busy" to reply. He probably went out and bought a cowboy hat after reading how much the chicks on here dig cowboys. Yeee-Haaa!

Later Kimosabe,

Bob

Fri Jan 24, 2020 5:48 pm

Guys, looks like Abe is fine. He just posted on someone's picture. Maybe he is thinking on this! Lol

 Puppyluv 

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