Will, I'm a 20-year rectal cancer survivor with a urostomy and ileostomy. Yes, it will get better. First things first, NED is the best news, so please do follow up with your specialists - my oncologist and colorectal surgeon worked together for routine PET, MRI, and CT scans. At first, this was annual, and for a residual wound, it became monthly, but after the 5-year mark, I was fine (statistically they declare you NED after 5 years).
Mechanics: My urostomy is much harder to maintain at first, I had leaks all the time, and after a decade, I started getting UTIs. I figured out a routine (everyone's skin and active lifestyle is different). I'm pretty active, and after getting uro-septic a couple of times, changing routine - I finally settled on changing the wafer (2-piece system) every 3 days, my bag every day, hookup every night, and I flushed it every day. For prevention, I also started taking cranberry supplements and D-Mannose daily. My infectious disease doc team basically said that since urine and bacteria can go both ways and anatomically, it can creep back into the kidneys. I don't have a bladder or colon, so staying hydrated is very difficult. Believe it or not, one of the best ways to check your hydration level is like looking at a diamond - clarity, color, and smell. Okay, diamonds don't smell. I also write daily in a hydration journal.
The only ileostomy issues have been blockages requiring ER visits - so I avoid eating olives and onions, and sometimes it can just be scar tissue.
The good news, there are countless people out there who have dedicated their lives to help you, both mentally and physically. Here's the thing - they won't know where to find you unless you ask for help. Asking for help was the hard part for me since I basically hid my ostomies from my friends and co-workers. So more good news, these ostomies allowed a surgeon to get rid of a cancer that was literally going to kill me. So yes, the surgeon and ostomy procedures saved my life, and I am forever grateful and no longer shameful.
I hope you get to meet inspirational people and, more importantly, realize how many people will look to you for inspiration. Check out FightCRC.org for info (Fight Colorectal Cancer, or the CCA, Colon Cancer Alliance)
Be well.