Finding Love Again: Navigating Life with Maxine - Seeking Advice and Hope

Feb 07, 2021 6:37 am

Do you ever wonder if you will ever find love again? I wonder all the time now, especially since I gained "Maxine" on my side. Anyone who might possibly think that they could have a relationship with me will also have to accept "Maxine" and realize that she will often be running the show by her rules and timeline. Some days...well many of the days...she can be fairly easy to live with and then there are those days that she can be miserable and can make everyone else miserable too. So how does one go about getting back out there after what we've been through? we really want to? I often wonder if I did find another, at what time would I tell them about Maxine and how would I handle the possible rejection by someone I have come to have feelings for? So many questions and no answers to share! Is there really someone out there for us and would they be willing to take a chance on love? It is my hope that there is.

Feb 07, 2021 7:47 am

I am so happy that I was married and did not have to go looking. There are a few that have found someone on here, but just a few. You have to put an ad out and hopefully the right person will see it. I do not know which site is the best, there are a lot of them out there. Good luck.

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Feb 07, 2021 9:18 am

Actually, "Maxine" will be an excellent bellwether to indicate if someone about whom you have an interest is the right person.  If your new friend reacts negatively to "Maxine" that is probably indicative of a person who is shallower than you want anyway.  At least, that has been my experience.

Past Member
Feb 07, 2021 10:15 am

Hi there.... I am proof that real love can happen for us. Check my blogs. I recently lost the lively lady way before her time. It is true that it is better to have lived and lost than never having love at all. Kitty's loss was a total surprise and terrible for all her friends and family. She had my love and I had her love for three very special years.

Do not give up, pick some faces that speak to you, your instincts will do the rest. Trust your gut!!

Eamon.. aka Mayoman... aka Magoo...

Feb 07, 2021 10:05 pm

Hi Magoo, I looked at your pictures. You really do a good job. I am sorry for your loss. You two looked so happy. Just be glad you had that time together. Best wishes and stay safe.

Living with Your Ostomy | Hollister
Past Member
Feb 07, 2021 11:32 pm

Hi there and thank you for your comments XO.............. Just to explain how this wonderful 3-year Love of My Life experience came about. If I had missed her last call, none of this would have happened, but I answered.

I just wrote to Kitty's only sister/sibling and tried to tell her just how special Kitty was and continues to be. In my little house in Ireland, I would often stand in front of the mirror shaving and

have a little chat with myself. "Eamon," I would say. "You're not a bad looking fella, you have all, most, of your parts (colon missing in action) and more importantly, the really fun parts still work very well

so how come you still haven't found a woman who will put up with you? It seems a terrible waste to just fade away slowly and never feel a warm naked body next to you again, never hop in the shower and wash your

Lady's back with hot soapy water, never wake up to feel her warm breath on your shoulder as she sleeps in your arms." I always thought there must be at least one woman out there who will "get" me and put up with

me, who might even love me. The problem is finding her or her finding me. I looked at Ostomy dating because I figured it would be more comfy if both people have a Baggie and from experience, I can say that it is. I

found a site called Ostodate, a lot of the people on this site are also on that site. I sent many, many little messages to ladies whose photo seemed to talk to me...? It took a year or so until one lady wrote back more

than twice. She looked like a nice person and she had the most endearing big smile, an honest and genuine smile, not just a smile for the camera. From her words and the many messages, she seemed to be a real

cutie and seemed like a genuine and very nice person. In Ireland, I got sidetracked and did not write to her for a couple of months. One reason I had continued chatting was because this lovely lady lived in San Jose, CA.

I travel regularly to San Francisco and stay sometimes in San Mateo, which is just down the highway a little from San Jose. My next trip would be around Aug 2017 when there is a car show in Reno, Nevada, at which my

nephews would be showing their Hot Rods. In the excitement and planning, I forgot to let my Pen Pal know exactly when I would be in Cal again. She said that I didn't write for weeks (probably right) and she was giving

up on me. She called me twice when I got to Cal, and I missed both calls because we were heading straight to Reno the day after I arrived.

Third time lucky!! On the drive to Reno, Kitty gave me one last chance to answer her call/text, and I finally answered and apologized profusely for neglecting her. Well, we texted all the way from Berkeley across the

Sierra through Donner Pass and over Donner Summit (The infamous Donner Party route). As we sped down the steep mountain grade heading for the tabletop flat desert plains of the Nevada desert, I noticed the huge sand

piles placed regularly in offshoots of the highway. These are slow down ramps for runaway trucks which have lost their brakes, the trucks' wheels get bogged down in the sand and hit the pile at the end to stop them. As

we were speeding down this mountain highway, my future Love was planning our first face-to-face meeting for the day I would get back from Reno...just 2 days away!!! I felt like that truck with the burned out brakes

roaring into the unknown. This was officially a DATE!!! I had not had a real Date in years, literally...Years!! I had not kissed a woman on the lips for a very long time, and as for sex!! Well, let's just say the term "

Physician heal thyself" or Every man for Himself comes to mind. I really am not embarrassed to say that my sexual partner had been my right hand (the left for a bit of variety sometimes lol) for quite a while lol

....come on!! You Ladies get busy with those fingers as well when nobody's looking lol!! And as for the guys, when (as Kitty called Him) that Beastie Boy gets up a head of steam, you just have to go for it! lol... I felt

positively Virginal on our first meeting, pure and untouched, unless you count the occasions when Self Service was the only way to get to sleep. In that department, I was quite confident, Beastie Boy worked quite well

and if it got that far, she would be happy. Enough with the size and operation of my personal equipment. All I had to do was not to pass out from fear if we got to that stage.

I picked my brightest shirt and pants to match the beautiful August sunshine, and Kitty wore a lovely flowery dress.

All I want to say right now is. I behaved like a proper Gentleman, and Kitty the perfect Lady...until we drove to her house after a tasty Sushi lunch and "Atomic Blonde" the movie.

As they call those romantic, horny was a bit of a "Bodice Ripper" as the evening wore on and the two Kiddies disappeared with the electronic gadgets and

I thought some readers might like to see the blow-by-blow account of that incredibly nerve-wracking first meeting. I must point out that we had been texting for a few months before Kitty called me on the way to Reno

so we already knew that we really liked each other online, liking each other when chatting face to face can often be a disappointing experience for a socially awkward person which I most assuredly was, quite shy

generally if not at ease with the other person.

We just clicked, like that final piece in the jigsaw puzzle, it completes the picture.

Feb 08, 2021 1:14 am

Someone to kiss
Someone to miss
When you're away
To hear from each day
To be loved (to be loved)
To be loved (to be loved)
Oh what a feeling
To be loved

.. Jackie Wilson song

Feb 08, 2021 4:56 am

This is a beautiful love story I heard on NPR today. A couple met when they were very young while working in a science lab. Cynthia, 17, and Herb, 28, sent coded messages to each other on paper towels. They both married other people, but Herb saved those paper towels and sent them to Cynthia 62 years later. They fell in love through letters, met, and he proposed to Cynthia when he was 90 years old and she was 80. They had 5 wonderful years together before Herb died at 95.

The story is on the internet...
Howard and Cynthia: A Love Story
by Howard Attebery and Cynthia Riggs

Feb 17, 2021 12:09 am

Hi Freedancer, it's a tough issue to figure out for sure. I have an old friend who has had her ostomy for some 40 odd years and it hasn't inhibited her love life or relationships in any way that I know of.

In my case, the ostomy plus a hip replacement gone wrong drove a wedge into my marriage that I'm sure will never heal. In truth, I'm here till my daughter graduates high school, then, who knows.....

Love yourself first. Do that and the rest will fall into place. I would suggest checking out the folks on this site and going from there. If I decide to try another relationship, it'll be with someone who has a front butt like me and understands, can laugh at the ridiculousness of our shared predicament, and get on with life.

Be well, I can't wait to get back to Montana again, it's a stunning place.