Looking,
There's so much experience and wisdom in these words, thoughts, and emotions of other ostomates replying to your question on self-acceptance after an ostomy procedure.
I'm unable to offer much more, except to add that you're not "weak" - you're human. We all are, having our good days and bad, and none of us able to go through this alone.
You're so courageous for reaching out via the MAO site, Looking. Stay in touch with us. We each have our stories of survival, Looking. I'm not trying to be dramatic; although I've been an ostomate for 3 1/2 years, and an MAO member since last September, there are enough survival stories on this site to create books and "movies of the week". : )
But, Looking, the most important story is yours, and it continues to be written each and every day, with each decision and choice you make.
Also, contact your closest UOAA support group. Meetings are being held virtually, and there's a lot to be said for the support and understanding of individuals who have endured - and survived - their circumstances. I believe you already know this. : )
Lily17
P.S. -
Bill has written some amazing poetry. I've written a little over the years, but take a lot of inspiration from music lyrics - another form of poetry:
"Do What You Want, Be What You Are"
by Daryl Hall & John Oates (and shortened a bit by me)
Do what you want, but be what you are
There ain't no right or wrong way
Just a play from the heart
It ain't a sign of weakness, to give yourself away
Because the strong give up and move on
While the weak, the weak give up and stay
So do what you want to do
Be what you are ...
You can change,
But you can't conceal
What's deep inside you
It's your game, it's your deal
So do what you want to do
But be what you are ...
You can do what you want to
You can do, you can be
You could do, you could be
You can...