How to Explain Grandad's Daily Routine to a 10-Year-Old?

I have a ten-year-old granddaughter. She wants to stay with Grandma and Grandad. I have a colostomy and irrigate every day.

How do we explain to a ten-year-old girl about 'Grandad' going upstairs for an hour every day?

When I first got my ileostomy 2 years ago, I went to visit my 3 grandkids in another state. They were 13, 11, and 8. They knew I had had surgery and could no longer sit on my lap. When asked why not... I told them... remember when Grammie was so sick all the time, always running to the bathroom? They said yes, Grammie, you had diarrhea all the time. I told them that they fixed me and now I don't poop like they do, now I poop in a bag. They asked to see and I showed them. They thought it was so cool to see a small intestine and touch it through my bag and all was good. The youngest asked her teacher if she could bring a small intestine to show and tell... me!!!
Just be honest if the parents allow... it's the best way.

Ritz is right.  My ileostomy preceded my marriage and children.  I never tried to hide my bag from them.  As I suspected might happen, both thought that since I was a man, other men must have it too.  We explained to them that I had been sick and this was the only way that they could fix me.  I don't think it was any different to them then if I'd had red hair or a club foot. 

At 10, she will be up on things and very clever. Just keep it simple and truthful. You have a bag you poo in or something like that. If I know kids, she will go "Ewwwww" then laugh, and that's it, done and over with.

I have an ileostomy, so I know it's different. As I can't irrigate, how it was explained to my niece, who was 4 at the time, was that I had a poorly tummy from eating too much chocolate and poo out of my tummy now. Lol, she just went "Ewwwww" and laughed. Lol. And as I had nurses coming in every day to change dressings on my wound, she used to tell them that story. And nurses always smiled at her and then turned round to tell me off for being naughty for eating too much chocolate. Lol.

Kids accept stomas much more easily than adults do.

Beautiful Ritz! We don't give kids nearly enough credit. Most would probably be more accepting than adults with our preconceived ideas about what normal is.

Terry

Hi all.

Thanks so much for the information, you've confirmed what I thought might be the right answer.

After all, 10 is the new 16 (clever little madam).

Can you handle an iPhone like a ten-year-old? I'm still putting pennies in the slot.

D

Hello Douglas.

I agree with the honesty approach. My grandaughter caught me by surprise when she barged into the bathroom while I was irrigating (as these Kids do!), wanting to know what I was doing. I simply said that I was irrigating and if she wanted to watch that would be okay with me. She was not phased at all by the procedure and asked various relevant questions, to which I gave her the sort of answers that I might give to a fellow ostomate.  After that, she never came to the bathroom again while I was in there, but I did notice that there was a little less 'rough-play' with me, and a bit more respect for the potential damage that might be done in the stoma area.

In our family, we have always been upfront and honest with each other about everything. Some things have an emotional effect, but it is much easier to cope with if everyone has all the relevant information to decide for themselves about 'stuff'. There is not much worse for kids when they think adults are hiding stuff from them. Interestingly, the honesty thing tends to work both ways and the kids are not averse to sharing their problems with us.

Best wishes

Bill    

I agree with being honest with the kids, Ritz! It takes the scariness away and they don't make things up in their own heads that could be frightening for them, leaving them with only more questions. Kids are quite amazing, we need to give them the benefit of the doubt. I'm sure once they know your situation, they'll feel relieved as well. Enjoy those little ones and their inquiring minds!!!!
Earth Angel

Hi Doug,

Honesty is the best policy, and it's something you'll only have to explain once, rather than trying to hide it every time you see her. And if you plan to be around for any significant amount of time, she'd probably figure it out anyway... kids today are pretty smart! But if you'd rather not tell her, then just say you need a nap. My grandparents were famous for falling asleep mid-day whenever I came to visit. I'm pretty sure young people expect old people to need naps during the day. I tend to think that at ten years old (roughly 5th grade)... if my grandfather told me he pooped in a bag... I'd be pretty grossed out by that. But then I'd get smacked upside my head by my folks... and I'd understand it was fine. Ah... those childhood memories...

;0)

Bob