Join the Largest Ostomy Community
Next >

Got one and not by choice


I hate it. I have had it for the whole Covid time. Watch YouTube videos to help get this far on changing and all the everything else that goes with it. No insurance always helps. And what helps the most is when you can no longer work your trade. All I hear from hospitals is you're alive. I am still here due to my animals and family as I got time to prepare. I want to slap Joe.

MeetAnOstoMate - 30,214 members
Join a supportive community of individuals who understand your journey and can provide valuable insights, guidance, and companionship throughout your ostomy experience.

I'm sorry you feel this way and hope your time on this site helps and I look forward to helping you if I can,  I am a fellow tradesmen and have had an ostomy for over 25 years and worked in the trades the whole time. And yes the most basic thing is you are alive. But with information and practice you can succeed with ease and joy.

I will be praying for you



Why slap Joe?

We have no control over many things..our only control is how we react to a bad situation.  Put on your thinking and dream..find another occupation you are only 56 years old.


Sorry you are having trouble. Please feel free to ask about any special problem you need help with. I will pray  for you. Best wishes


Hello Carpenter 56.

Thanks for your post as it reminds us all how this thing can affect people in different ways. Lots of people have expressed similar views in the past, so you are not alone in how you feel.

I do hope that this is a passing phase for you and that you can move on to have a more positive outlook and future. 

As your name implies that you are a carpenter, it might provide inspiration to have a look at some of the fantastic photos of carpentry done by  mild_mannered_super_hero. 

Once we have struggled through the initial, physical, psychological and emotional  phases of having a stoma and settled into the new routine, there is often very little that we cannot then do in life that we did before. 

My hope is that you will reach that more positive arena as soon as possible and still continue to post on here to share your experiences with others who may be going through similar experiences, as sharing is often the best/ only way to manage the emotional stuff. 

Best wishes



I must admit I had a scare
the first time that I saw it there.
I can't remember what I said
about this thing so crimson red.

Some thoughts were flashing through my mind
about how fate had been unkind.
Most of all I thought “Why me!”
that had to have this ostomy.

What in the world had I done wrong
that to this thing, I'd now belong?
This thing that stuck out from my tum
replacing my malfunctioning bum. 

Right now I only speak for me
when talking of my ostomy.
They told me I would benefit
but I began to doubt that bit.

To tell the truth, I won't pretend
I thought that this would be the end.
I thought the active life I'd led
was now gone, forever dead.

There was no way that I could swim
with what looked like an extra limb.
There's nothing anyone could say
to keep these type of thoughts at bay.

The negatives exaggerated
as my mood degenerated.
It seemed that I had lost control
of my body and my soul.

But now I've had this ‘thing' a while
I can look back and I can smile.
For now I'm doing so much more
and I'm  more active than before.

                                    B. Withers  2012

Reply to Bill

Such a beautiful and moving poem as always Bill 🥰. There's so many parts of that where I can completely relate. When I was in the hospital after my first stoma operation back in 2013 I deffo thought “why me?” all the time. And you're right, I can now look back and smile, I can appreciate where I'm at now. 

And to Carpenter, Bill and everyone else here are right, hang in there and it will get better. Even just having a few other people to talk to who can relate to you can be so so helpful. I've cried and wondered what I'd done that the universe made me have this flare up of ulcerative colitis that resulted in an ileostomy. I've been scared and wondered how the heck I'm going to get back to my life. I've thought that this suffering would never end.

I've been on holiday, been on a plane to get to that holiday, managed to do an emergency change in an airplane bathroom … twice … on the same flight (still proud of that one! But don't worry, everything was completely fine and smooth sailing on the flight back, I was just unlucky on that first flight). I've gone hiking while on that holiday, explored fascinating cities. I still kept my job, a very active healthcare assistant in a very busy, demanding hospital ward. Don't let the stoma control your life. Sure, sometimes you might need to figure out a new way to do something, but you can still so that thing. I've heard of top level athletes who are Olympians / Paralympians who have a stoma. If they can do it, so can we. We're in this together. Sending you all the good, positive vibes, Carpenter. 



I remember, all too well, the feelings you are sharing.  Time and this website has helped……justbreathe

Reply to lovely

Thank you. Enjoy your Easter. 

Reply to Bill

Wish that was me. Yes I was and still carpenter. No longer a whom and what but just a word guy as I can no longer wear the tools due to the illegal that now is sticking out of me. Change is hard. Thank you for the input and knowledge 

* Please, do not post contact information, personal information or advertising.
All times are GMT - 5 Hours