I had a colostomy placed 3 months ago. Lost a 1/3 of my body weight and now look like a walking skeleton. The doctors can’t figure out why they had to cut out 9 cm of in their words “concrete” and they say I’m lucky to be alive. Funny I rarely feel lucky. 3 hospitalizations later and running out of medical days, I wonder what my future holds. Will I die early? Will I leave a young child behind? Will I wind up homeless? They say it’s reversible but keep pushing the date back. I cry a lot now and hate dealing with the bags, the insurance, the money lost. I get sick of everyone saying I’m lucky to be alive. I know I should focus on the positives but that’s hard for me. I’ve always been kind of a pessimist and this certainly hasn’t helped my outlook. Please tell me I’m not alone. I feel alone.
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