Countdown to Reversal - Funny Stories and Parodies!

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bag_n_drag

Hi everyone!

Well, it's now just 10 days before my ileo reversal! I know that for a couple of the other "Mates"; theirs are sooner than mine.....I believe that Yukon Steve's reversal is at 7am on Monday, Jan. 9th and Beaner's is on Thursday, Jan. 12th, also at the BCOD (Butt-crack-o-dawn)! My thoughts and prayers are with these two wonderful folks and with anyone else who may be undergoing the reversal process soon that I may have inadvertently overlooked the past few days!

As the time grows nearer and nearer; I've been trying to keep myself occupied by thinking of funny stories and parodies related to all the mishaps and funny incidents that have happened over the past year while I've had "Old Faithful!".......many of these incidents weren't funny at the time; but are pretty entertaining now that I've either learned better and now avoid the offensive behavior, or I've just said "to heck with it anyway; I'm gonna do what I want to do!" and taken my consequences! One of these "consequences" deals with drinking wine and the bag blow-outs which tend to happen afterwards due to the post-fermentation process and how my body reacts to it, gas wise! I started thinking about what might happen if I had a little too much "vino" the night before my reversal surgery, and came up with the following parody......it parallels with the poem "Twas the Night Before Christmas!" Take care! Darla

OK....here goes......

TWAS THE NIGHT 'FORE REVERSAL

Twas the night 'fore reversal and all through the house

My bag changes were dwindling, for me and my spouse!

Extra flange supplies were packed up to "donate" with care

In hopes that my last "bagged" night would not need a spare!

My sweet man was snoozing, all snug in our bed

While "side & stomach" sleeping visions danced in my head! (YAAAY!!)

With us both in our jammies; and my bag free from crap

We'd just settled in from a "celebration!" wine filled night cap!

When out from my bag there arose such a splatter

I sprang to the bathroom to check out the matter!

Away to the toilet I flew like a flash

My undies were damp and my bag felt like hash!

The stain on the tape of my badly soiled pouch

Gave a hint of what happened; a really BIG "Ouch"!

Then, what to my bulging eyes should appear

But one great big blow-out; thanks to fermented cheer!

Just a little side split; so small but so thick

I knew in a moment I'd better be quick!

More rapid than oil spills; the poo leaks they came

So I whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

Now Poo leaks, Now Goo leaks, Now Shoo leaks and Wine gas!

---Please stop this! or I'll NEVER get clean on the first pass!

To the top of my bag; to my wet tape and clothes

Now clean away, clean away, everything's hosed!

But then, in a twinkling, I heard in our bed

The tossing and turning of my sweet man's head

As I gathered my clothes, and then turned around

I saw him approaching; his arms all unbound

Still dressed in his jammies, and clean head to toe

His clothing untarnished by poo leaks and woe

With arms flung wide open, he towel-dried my bag

Then, grinning a sly grin he grabbed a clean rag...

His eyes; how they twinkled; his soft touch; how caring!

He helped me to dry off; amidst all my swearing!

He tidied me up; and settled me down

Then brought me some hot tea and a warm, comfy gown!

He spoke such kind words; and continued his fight

To save this last night before surgery's plight!

Then, setting the next morn's alarm with a "beep!"

He whispered "Come on, babe, let's go get some sleep!"

We resumed our positions; and re-settled in bed

And in a few moments I bowed my tired head

I exclaimed "Thank you, dear Lord, for my hubby's sweet light".....

"My reversal comes early mornin'; but for now.....a good night.

Past Member

What a lovely poem, Darla!! You had me laughing and teary-eyed throughout. Sounds like you've got a wonderful husband there......I'm delighted for you. Yes, here's wishing Yukon Steve, Beaner, and yourself the very best of luck over the next few weeks, and may your recoveries be swift. I will include you all in my prayers too. Take good care, Colm. PS. Please remember to continue posting with your recovery......you know how comforting it's been to read recovery stories here! :-)

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Past Member

Good luck, Darla, in your reversal. Prayers are with you and the others you mentioned. Enjoyed your poem too. My thoughts are with you and I hope to see you posting some more with updates after your recovery. Tc, Ambies...

Eggandchips

Lol! So funny! Good luck with your op xx

mooza

Hahaha, I love those poems. Thanks, Darlz ...

 
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Beaner

That was a hoot! Thanks for all the well wishes for me, Thursday is my big day. I will keep you all posted, and you please do the same! Beaner

latina63

Oh my! Me and my hubby just hugged and cried... I thought I had the best man around but it seems you have found one also... couldn't have done it without him... thank you for such a timely poem... ND

MrsO

Hi, what an amazing poem!! Sending lots of love and best wishes to you and others mentioned with your surgery. Love Mrs. O xx

Beaner

Latina63, I agree. I met my husband on eHarmony and probably could be an ad. He is the best! I have my reversal on the 12th, and he has been very supportive these last six years, yes, since the month after we were married...

Past Member

Good luck for tomorrow, Beaner!! Keep up the positive outlook and you'll be right as rain in no time. We're all thinking of you! God bless and take care, Colm

aliveinrecovery

Please let me know how it goes... I have a reversal in one month and want to know what to do/not do to make things go well... Any help anyone has... Bring it on...