Apr 03, 2016 8:49 am

When I first had an ostomy
an anger burst came over me.
there’s nothing I could do anew
as something in that anger grew.

Like the spores of any fungus
anger’s always there among us.
When once it shows and starts to grow
it has an exponential flow.

It waits until the climate’s right
then strikes at us with all it’s might.
So on the whole it takes its toll
and mushrooms way out of control.

It spread around my tiny brain
like dry-rot in the ground with rain.
Seeping along through every crack
I think it’s gone but it creeps back.

Anger’s such a strong emotion
causing chaos and commotion.
It toys with us and makes us tense
and can destroy our common-sense.

The curse of anger’s happenstance
can be much worse with circumstance.
And as a stoma’s an ordeal
that makes anger feel more real.

I think most of my anger was
directed back at me because
my stoma took control of me
and that’s not the way it ought to be.

But now I’m in control of it
and calculated the profit.
I’ve balanced that with what it’s cost
and think I’ve gained more than I lost.

B. Withers 2013

Apr 03, 2016 9:05 pm

Amen, Bill. I hope everyone comes to terms with their stoma and realizes that it's something we have to learn to get along with.

Gray Logo for MeetAnOstoMate

Why Join MeetAnOstoMate?

First off, this is a pretty cool site with 35,000 members who truly understand you.

It's not all about ostomy. We talk about everything.

Many come here for advice or to give advice, others have found good friends, and some have even found love. Most importantly, people here are honest and genuinely care.

🛑 Privacy is very important - we have many features that are only visible to members, ensuring a safe and secure environment for you to share and connect.

Create an account and you will be amazed by the warmth of this community.

Apr 03, 2016 10:10 pm

Excellent! Just what I am trying to deal with. In my mind, my double ostomies are like dinosaurs in my life, overwhelming my life, able to chew me and spit me out at their whim, and they feel like they are constantly foraging. They are so large I can't get around them. I am angry at everybody I desperately love.
I decided my work is to move them to puppy status in my life, rearrange my life to meet their needs and mine, and live not subsist and hide. I'm using all my resources, but sometimes it feels I get into a scorched earth relationship with my dear ones. Everybody, beg God to help me.

ron in mich
Apr 04, 2016 3:39 pm

Hi Bill, in my younger days anger was always bubbling just below the surface, but as I got older I learned to be patient and to stop and think before speaking or doing something I might regret.

Apr 04, 2016 8:08 pm

I can relate. I hate having a stoma. I had to have a full bowel removal. They kept enough small intestine for the stoma, and I still have severe Crohn's. I had it done in September 2015. I'm still a newbie and having major problems. God bless.

Staying Hydrated with an Ostomy with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister
Apr 05, 2016 12:21 pm

I also have Crohn's and resisted having the surgery for years until I almost died. I was very depressed for a while. Got used to it and now my life is great. Hang in there. It's been 13 years.

Apr 05, 2016 9:41 pm

Thank you. I have to go for a scope in my stoma. I'm not looking forward to that. God bless.

Apr 07, 2016 6:37 am
Hello everybody!
Thank you for your comments on this post they are very much appreciated.
EDO5215 -- That sounds like very good advice you are giving yourself and if you can follow through I think you'll find that things grow better after the earth has been scorched.

Mrs A. -Most people learn to live with it eventually- and those that don't we hope can benefit from a site like this.

Ron in mich - Snap!! I would not want to live through those early days again.

Willow59 - There are not many that 'like' having a stoma. The people that adjust best are those who balance the thoughts of having one with the alternatives. Once you get used to the new routines and everything starts to settle down it becomes easier to see the advantages as compared with what might have been without one. (see Pretty lady's comment)

Pretty lady1- 'Precisely'

Willow59 - Thank you for reading it and posting a reply - I hope your scope goes well.

Best wishes to everyone
Past Member
Apr 08, 2016 1:18 am

What happens when you know the surgery was unnecessary? How do you ever get over the rape of your body at someone else's whim? At 62, I only suffered 3 bouts of colitis in my entire life - all 3 caused by prescription meds doctors forced by threatening no treatment for lack of compliance. Ending up in the hospital for a blood clot in foot caused by a diagnostic colonoscopy when too inflamed for the procedure. I normally have a blood clotting issue (do not clot - instead seep blood through skin) and have always reacted to antibiotics since a brush with bacterial meningitis as a 6-year-old, so stayed away from them my entire life. When treated for C. diff contracted after a normal colonoscopy dosed with metronidazole and then vancomycin, causing severe bleeding, I was convinced to have surgery not knowing that the surgeon was withholding pathology from Mayo Clinic stating "self-limited colitis most likely caused by drug reaction, epithelium flattened by C. diff, now negative, no chronic mytosis," which was exactly what I had told him. How do you ever trust another doctor when your trust has been so terribly betrayed?

Apr 08, 2016 7:26 am
Hello dadnabbit. Thanks for posting and telling us of your situation. - An understandable reason for getting angry. My problems began when a surgeon took it upon himself to strip the walls of the anus in order to 'treat' haemorrhoids. I had laser surgery on two previous occasions with no problem at all then suddenly I'm seriously ill after this operation. Not only did he mutilate my anus but he left the haemorrhoids up there. It took another two surgeries to try to put right but by then it was all too late. Of course these things tend to leave one angry and frustrated and the loss of trust cannot be underestimated. However, looking back on my own experience I have to concede that it was only the one surgeon that did things wrong, all those that followed him were just trying to rectify his mistakes. In some ways it is the 'system' that is at fault in that there should be robust safeguards in place to make sure that these incompetent and sometimes malicious people are prevented from practicing medicine that might adversely affect people's lives. There seems to be a reluctance to report these people for malpractice and a reluctance on the part of the authorities to do anything about them so they continue mutilating others until something drastic happens to stop them. I felt angry on a personal level - but these system's failures annoy me even more.
' Never trust anyone until they have earned the right to be trusted!'.
Best wishes
Apr 08, 2016 11:56 am

Thank you everyone for your heartfelt posts. I was also very upset in the early days of my ostomy. I could not understand why I became so sick and ended up with an ostomy. I believe we go through stages of loss and grieving. All of us experienced the ending of a functioning body part and grieved the loss. Acceptance takes time and for some longer and for others shorter. For me, grieving loss takes time. Hope this helps. Take care everyone and have a great Friday! Almost the weekend.... LH

Apr 08, 2016 12:56 pm

We all have to deal with the stoma in our own way and it definitely takes time to come to terms with it. We will never like it, but we do have to accept it. Don't look at the stoma as a problem, but as the solution. I was so sick with Crohn's and abscesses that I finally caved into the surgery. Since that time, I have started my own business and try to make the most of each day. Stay well, my friends! Penguins7

Apr 08, 2016 4:16 pm

Thanks Penguins7 for the inspiring post - Yes, very well said. Hopefully gaining a stoma improved health...glad you are doing well. Nice to hear from you. Take care. LH

Apr 09, 2016 12:50 am

Thanks, LH. I hope all is well with you. Penguins7