Escaping Smells

ESCAPING SMELLS.

If there’s a stink that makes me gag
I think it’s from my stoma bag,
and every time I empty it
my home will fill with smells of shit.

It seems there’s little I can do
to mask the smell of putrid poo,
for even special odour spray
will not make these smells go away.

As I relax in my armchair
I’ll steadily become aware
of that dreaded odour from
the bag, that is now a stink-bomb.

It seems to seep up through my clothes
and then it creeps right up my nose.
I know that there’s no time to slouch
for I must then empty my pouch.

So, up I get, and off I trot
to empty out this bag I’ve got.
But when the seals on bags are burst,
this is when the smells are worst.

I think the fall from bag to pan
will tend to be much greater than
it might be from bum to ‘plop’,
which might make the stinking stop.

This means these smells, make no mistake,
will move like hell, and make a break
for their freedom-flight through air
assaulting whoever’s nose is there.

And, I don’t like to take the blame,
as there’s no malice and no aim
for these smells to spread around
and linger-long in the background.

Oh! how I wish that this was not so
and smells from me would simply go.

B. Withers 2019

Bill you've done it again. This one had me laughing from start to finish. Always look forward to your verses and thanks for sharing.

Try m9 and away the smells will go

Hello newyorktorque. Thanks for your appreciative comments - I'm glad it made you laugh, as there is really no point in letting these things make us sad. Best wishes Bill

Hello mdq58. I don't think M9 is available over here but there are loads of other products that get rid of smells. Best wishes Bill

Like you poem. the best thing I have found yo keep the ordor from filling the whole house is to shut the door flip the exhaust fan on than when finished I use free breeze spray. Then shut the door and leave the exhaust fan running for a while.

Hello Lovely. Thanks for your post and letting me know that you enjoyed the poem. It does mean a lot to know that people have read these verses, but more importantly enjoyed them. A few years back I built a new bathroom with my stoma management in mind and I fitted a fan, which automatically comes on whenever I am in there. when I am finished, I spray some stuff that my wife buys and I get out quickly, as it is so powerful it brings tears to my eyes. However, it does overpower any remaining smells from the stoma. The only trouble is, I am not sure what it is doing to my breathing organs. Best wishes Bill