Just Someone to Talk To

It gets lonely with an ileostomy, colostomy. Whatever 😜. Mine's permanent. I'm bummed out, 😔

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Mine is permanent too. We have mood swings. After a year with it, I claim it; it's mine. I wish I would meet someone. Maybe one day, who knows, but I must say, I love your attitude and way of looking at it. I haven't named mine; I call it my little friend.

I refer to mine as my little mate (on a good day) or the little s**t (on a bad day)

🤣🤣🤣

Hi Melissa,

The girl in the cowboy hat looks like a lot of fun! Send the blues packing and know there are people cheering you on.

Best,

Bryce

I have a surprise permanent colostomy. It sticks out quite a bit. No way to hide it. Been a year already. Time flies.

I discuss it openly with my friends/coworkers. Show it to the curious, who are amazed.

Beats the alternative I faced a year ago... a cold grave.

Holidays are a tough time for many. I have no extended family, most friends have passed away. Coworkers I worked with for decades have retired, relocated out of state.

For me, every day is a holiday. Doctors, my oncologist, are unsure how I'm still alive and well. I had stage 4 thyroid cancer at 25. Prognosis was grim. Never dreamed I would turn 65 and have a colostomy.

Undergoing chemotherapy 20 years ago, I met an older lady with bone cancer, one leg amputated. She was doing chemo just so she could last long enough to attend her granddaughter's wedding. She confided to me, "Everything in life is transitory. Youth, beauty, fame, fortune, health... all diminish with time." I met many others like her. Living in the moment. Another day in paradise.

Of course, these are just words on a cell screen. Thoughts and conjecture from a digital stranger. You have to choose to be happy. Content with yourself. Stoma doesn't change who we are.

Take care

The girl in the hat is smoking.

A hottie. (Oops, did I say that out loud?).

Ahem... good advice from your peeks out here, missy. Just keep on posting and do reply.

We are here. 🌹

As Beach Boy shares, thoughts and conjecture from a digital stranger,

We all share how best we may

Well wishes over the ether

We know it can be tough

International site

So someone to share with at odd hours too

Hang in everybody .... the sun shines .... behind the clouds as well

Best wishes to all on Christmas Eve

May your hours be gentle, your hopes a tad exciting, and your heart be open and warm

Jayne

Just flying by

Hugs

My ileostomy is permanent. By choice. And I refuse to be depressed by it, but I fully understand why people get that way. Especially those that are so much younger than me. I have only had my ostomy for a tad less than a year. I would be a liar if I said that it does not get to me sometimes. Usually while I am sitting on the toilet, bag in hand. But, a little reflection on the alternative tends to bring me around quickly. I am constantly amazed at what I survived to get to where I am today. Both as a young man and the slightly older one I am today. :-)

Daniel

So true, just have to do the best we can and be grateful we're still alive in the land of the living.

My name is Tony. I live in Spain, but I am English. I understand fully your thoughts and feelings. My wife died suddenly in August 2022 and I had a bowel cancer tumor removed in July this year, and now have a colostomy bag permanently. So I can imagine how you feel. Try and have a peaceful and tranquil Christmas and New Year. I am also alone, something I have not experienced, but trying to deal with this situation is very difficult. I am on WhatsApp if you want to message or talk (0034) 659414700. Best wishes and may 2024 bring positive thoughts, feelings, and a happier life. xxx Tony

Hi Tony,

Our hearts go out to you. So much has changed for you in a short time. Losing a loved one unexpectedly is unimaginable. Then cancer and a colostomy. And now the holidays.

Every day is a challenge. Finding the balance between happiness and sorrow.

I hope as the days pass, you heal.

Let us know how you're doing. Everyone on this website has, or had, an ostomy. Many have suffered the loss of loved ones. Had trusted partners run away after they got an ostomy.

Hang in there.

Take care,

Dan

Hang in there, Tony

Best wishes

Jayne

Melissa,

Do share with us your days.

Big hug to you.

Jayne

Hi Missy

I hope you can feel the power and strength of this group. You are a part of a great thing here, so use it to your advantage when you can, ok?

Hugs from the far northwestern corner of the US.

Hi! You look great. Keep it going, you will be fine! Merry Christmas!

Thank you for all your kind words and support.

I try. Kids are grown. It's scary at times. Thank you for the welcome 💕♥️

Bless you, hang in there.

30 years for me, but it's getting a lot harder. I'll pray for you.

All good luck. ♥️

Thank you. Merry Christmas. All pics are recent but the purple shirt.

Had to put one of me in my 30s when I was 30 years old. Final surgery in 2016. I stay stuck in the house 90 percent of the time. I don't know anyone where I live. It sucks being all alone 😔

Thank you for writing me.

Melissa Pick / fb

Hi Tony,

I lost my spouse almost 19 years ago to brain cancer. I had surgery 3 years ago and am living with a colostomy. Your post resonated with me.

I have studied Spanish since my teens and am in love with the language. Someday I would like to go to Spain. Thanks for your positive message on dealing with being alone for the holidays. Pauli

Melissa31907

Merry Christmas, Melissa. It gets better with time, I promise. You are young and beautiful. You will heal mentally and physically with time, and if you want love, it will find you.

Trauma, grief, loss, and fear of being dependent shook me hard for the first two years of having my colostomy. I had to heal mentally and physically before I could see the upside, as I went in for a radical hysterectomy and came out missing my colon and had bladder surgery at the same time.

I was totally incontinent for six to eight weeks, and I was depressed and angry instead of grateful.

I talked to a therapist regularly and openly discussed my ostomy and problems with it with people at my cancer center. These are the only ostomates I've met in person, but most of them are in a different phase of life with different problems from me, which is why I'm a member here.

Take care and talk about it.

Terri

G'day Melissa, I had a J-Pouch for 18 years and had a really bad 18 years, but now I have a very permanent ileostomy with a Ken butt and I love it. You have it for a reason and it's got to be better than the alternative. Chin up and pop in regularly for a chat. Regards, IGGIE

Hi Melissa and welcome to the site. I don't imagine anyone on this site ever envisioned having a stoma. I am coming up to 2 years for my colostomy - rectal cancer. It really does take a lot to wrap our heads around this new addition. I still have bouts of feeling not myself but know I am still in here and one day will return to normal mentally. When I start to get quite down, I think about why I got it and then realize how much better life is with it. The alternative was not acceptable. No one knows it's there unless we tell them. I have named mine Stinky Stewie and he can give my dog a run for the money lol. Are there any support groups near you? Unfortunately, here in Canada, there are a couple of online sites but nothing personal, which is too bad. Take a look, I think the human touch would do you a tremendous favor. Please keep posting and if you would like to PM me, I will always be available to communicate. Take care, my friend!

Happy New Year!!

Several people have said it gets better with time. It really does. Sure, we all have bad days.

I always look at this as it's WAY better than being sick and unable to do anything due to the emergency bathroom breaks I had to take all day and night. Most of the time, I do not know I am wearing a bag, and I do not let it slow me down.

Chin up. If you are feeling down or need advice, almost everyone on here is a good egg willing to help. :)

I have had a permanent ileostomy for 50 years. I talk with everyone, and I will let anyone and everyone know that I have one. I figure that I don't have a problem with the idea, and if there is ever anyone who is considering one, maybe it will help them or one of their friends or relatives. Most are very accepting and even are surprised and think it's admirable that I have one and I'm so comfortable with it.

Loneliness and hurt are not exclusive to the stoma community. It is easy to blame the operation that saved our lives. Anyone who has lived any length of time is a member of the walking wounded. I'm only a member for one day, but already I have found comfort and security from all of your words. We should be so proud to have made it this far. This life is not for the faint of heart, but I think overall the sweetness outweighs the suffering. Sometimes it feels like an endurance event. I have been reading all of your profiles and stories. I take my hat off to you all. Well done, you all.

Also a member of the 50-year club. I think we should get a medal or something!