Just someone to talk to


It gets lonely with a ileostomy, colostomy. Whatever 😜. Mines permanent. I'm bummed out, 😔Current photo


 Mine is permanent too, we have mood swings, after a year with it,I claim It, it’s mine. I wish I would meet someone.  Maybe one day, who knows, but Imust say; I love your attitude, way of looking at it, I haven’t named mine, I call it my little friend

Gray Logo for MeetAnOstoMate

Why Join MeetAnOstoMate?

First off, this is a pretty cool site with 33,419 members. Get inside and you will see.

It's not all about ostomy. Everything is being discussed.

Many come here for advice or to give advice 🗣, others have found good friends 🤗, and there are also those who have found love 💓. Most of all, people are honest and truly care.

Privacy is very important - the website has many features that are only visible to members.

Create an account and you will be amazed.

Reply to Itsme58

I refer to mine as my little mate (on a good day) or the little S**T (on a bad day) 



Hi Melissa, 

The Girl in the cowboy hat looks like a lot of fun!  Send the Blues packing and know there are people cheering you on. 




I have a surprise permanent colostomy.  It sticks out quite a bit.  No way to hide it.  Been a year already.  Time flys.

I discuss it openly with my friends/coworkers.  Show it to the curious. Who are amazed.  

Beats the alternative I faced a year ago.... a cold grave. 

Holidays are a tough time for many.  I have no extended family, most friends have passed away.  Coworkers I worked with for decades, have retired, relocated out of state.

For me, every day a holiday.  Doctors, my Oncologist, are unsure how I'm still alive and well.  I had stage 4 thyroid cancer at 25.  Prognosis was grim.  Never dreamed I would turn 65, and have a colostomy.

Undergoing chemotherapy 20 years ago, I met an older lady with bone cancer, one leg amputated.  She was doing chemo, just so she could last long enough to attend her grand daughters wedding.  She confided to me "everything in life is transitory.  Youth, beauty, fame, fortune, health..... all diminish with time."   I met many others like her.  Living in the moment.  Another day in paradise.

Of course, these are just words on a cell screen.  Thoughts and conjecture from a digital stranger.  You have to choose to be happy.  Content with yourself.  Stoma doesn't change who we are.  

Take care

Staying Hydrated with an Ostomy with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister
Reply to Bryce

the girl in the hat is smoking .

a hottie. ( oops did i say that out loud?).

ahem..good advice from yur peeks out here missy.. just keep on posting and do reply. 

we are here. 🌹

Reply to Beachboy

As Beach boy shares, Thoughts and conjecture from a digital stranger,

We all share how best we may

Well Wishes over the ether


We kniw it can be tough

International Site

So someone to sshare with at ood hours too


Hang in Everybody .... the Sun shines .... behind the clouds as well

Best Wishes to All on Christmas Eve


May your hours be gentle your hopes a tadge exciting and your heart be open and warm




Just flying by



Mysterious Mose

My ileostomy is permanent. By choice. And I refuse to be depressed by it, but I fully understand why people get that way. Especially those that are so much younger than me. I have only had my ostomy for a tad less than a year. I would be a liar if I said that it does not get to me sometimes. Usually while I am sitting on the toilet, bag in hand. But, a little reflection on the alternative tends to bring me around quickly. I am constantly amazed at what I survived to get to where I am today. Both as a young man and a slightly older one I am today. :-)


Reply to Beachboy

So true just have to do the best we can, and be grateful  we're still alive in the land of the living.


My name is Tony, I live in Spain,but I am English.l understand fully your thoughts and feelings.My wife died suddenly in August 2022and l had a bowel cancer tumor removed in July this year,and now have a colostomy bag permanently.so l can imagine how you feel.Try and have a peaceful and tranquil Christmas and New year.l am also alone, something l have not experienced, but trying to deal with this situation is very difficult.l am on WhatsApp if you want to message or talk (0034)659414700.best wishes and may2024 bring positive thoughts, feelings and a happier life xxxTony

Reply to anthony141043

Hi Tony,

Our hearts go out to you.  So much has changed for you in a short time.  Losing a loved one unexpectedly is unimaginable.  Then cancer and a colostomy.  And now the holidays.  

Everyday is a challenge.  Finding the balance between happiness and sorrow.

I hope as the days pass, you heal. 

Let us know how you're doing.  Everyone on this web site has, or had, an Ostomy.  Many have suffered loss of loved ones.  Had trusted partners run away after they got an Ostomy.

Hang in there.

Take care,


Reply to anthony141043

Hang in there Tony

BEst Wishes




Do share with us your days

BIG HUG to You



Hi Missy

I hope you can feel the power and strength of this group. You are a part of a great thing here, so use it to your advantage when you can, ok?

Hugs from the far northwestern corner of the US.


Hi! You look great. Keep it going, you Will be fine! Merry Christmas! 


Thank you for all your kind words and support.

I try. Kids are grown. It's scary at times. Thank you for the welcome 💕♥️

Reply to Beachboy

Bless you, hang in there 

30 years for me. But it's getting a lot harder.. I'll pray for you.

All good luck. ♥️

Reply to fermrar

Thank you. Merry Christmas. All pics are recent but the purple shirt.

Had to put one of me in my 30s when I was got . 30 year's. Final surgery in 2016. I'stay stuck in the house 90 percent of the time.. I don't know anywhere I live.. it sucks being all alone 😔

Thank you for writing me

MelissaPick/ fb

Reply to anthony141043

Hi Tony,

I lost my spouse almost 19 yrs ago to brain cancer.  I had surgery 3 yrs ago and am living with a colostomy. Your post resonated with me. 

I have studied Spanish since my teens and am in love with the language. Someday I would like to go to Spain. Thanks for your positive message on dealing with being alone for the holidays.  Pauli



Merry Christmas Melissa. It gets better with time I promise. You are young and beautiful. You will heal mentally and physically with time and if you want love it will find you. 

Trauma, grief, loss and fear of being a dependant shook me hard for the 1st 2 years of having my colostomy.  I had to heal mentally and physically before I could see the upside as I went in for a radical hysterectomy and came out missing my colon and had bladder surgey at the same time.

I was totally incontinent for 6 to 8 weeks and I was depressed and angry instead of grateful. 

I talked to a therapist regularly and openly discuss my ostomy and problems with it with people at my cancer centre. These are the only ostomates Ive met in person but most of them are in a different phase of life with different problems from me which is why Im a member here. 

Take care and talk about it.



G-Day Melissa,  I had a J-Pouch for 18 years and had a really bad 18 Years, but now I have a very permanent Ileostomy with a Ken butt and I love it. You have it for a reason and it's got to be better than the alternative. Chin up and pop in regularly for a chat. Regards IGGIE


Hi Melissa and welcome to the site.  I don't imagine anyone on this site ever envisioned having a stoma.  I am coming up to 2 years for my colostomy - rectal cancer.  It really does take a lot to wrap our heads around this new addition.  I still have bouts of feeling not my self but know I am still in here and one day will return to normal mentally.  When I start to get quite down, I think about why I got it and then realize how much better life is with it is.  The alternative was not acceptable.  No one knows it's there unless we tell them.  I have named mine Stinky Stewie and he can give my dog a run for the money lol.  Are there any support groups near you?  Unfortunately here in Canada there is a couple of online sites but nothing personal which is too bad.  Take a look, I think the human touch would do you a tremendous favor.  Please keep posting and if you would like to PM me, I will always be available to communicate.  Take care my friend!


Happy New Year !!

Several people have said it gets better with time. It really does.  Sure we all have bad days.

I always look at this as its WAY better than being sick and unable to do anything due to the emergency bathroom breaks I had to take all day n night.  Most of the time I do not know I am wearing a bag and I do not let it slow me down.

Chin up. you feeling down or need advise, almost everyone on here is a good egg willing to help. :)


I have had a permanent ileostomy for 50 years. I talk with everyone and I will let anyone and everyone know that I have one. I figure that I don't have a problem with the idea and if there is ever anyone who is considering one that maybe it will help them or one of their their friends or relatives. Most are very accepting and even are surprised and think it's admirable that I have one and I'm so comfortable with it.

Past Member

Loneliness and hurt is not exclusive to the stoma community. It is easy to blame the operation that saved our lives. Anyone who has lived any length of time is a member of the walking wounded .  I'm only a member for one day but already I have found comfort and security from all of your words. We should be so proud to have made it this far. This life Is not for the faint of heart but I think overall the sweetness outweighs suffering . Sometimes it feels like an endurance event . I have been reading all of your profiles and stories . I take my hat off to you all . Well done you all. 

Reply to Redondo

Also a member of the 50-year club. I think we should get a medal or something!