A fartful dodger

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Bill
Mar 21, 2024 7:02 am

A FARTFUL DODGER.

I do believe there is an art
in managing a simple fart
so, here I’ll try to let you know
how I manage to let go.

But first, I think I should explain
that there are worse things than the pain
of knowing that you’ve farted and
think others will not understand.

Try to imagine, from the start
that what you think is just a fart
and airy-fairy effluence,
is really gross incontinence.

If you can hold on to this thought
there’s little doubt you won’t get caught 
in feeling that a fart is such
a big deal that might mean too much.

For many years, each fart I did
held a heap of shit, that slid
unceremoniously out
and that’s what farting was about.

It used to cause me great distress
whilst coping with this awful mess
but what it taught me was that I
would eventually get by.

But now, I have a stoma and 
when my farts get out of hand
I have a bag to catch this stuff
and I no longer have it rough.

One could say: ’I don’t give a shit’,
for farts are just a part of it,
but most important’s what we think
and how we cope with what may stink.


                                                B. Withers 2024

TerryLT
Mar 21, 2024 9:08 pm

Thanks for the laugh, Bill! Best fart-related writing ever!

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