I just had my boss on the phone, checking to see if I was okay. Trying to find out how long my recovery time would be and when I would be fit to come back to work.
I know I really do want to go back to work, I'm getting seriously bored of being cooped up and being off work for 6 months already. Daytime TV is getting worse by the day and there is only so many cookery and antique shows I can handle without wanting to throw my TV out of the window!
What concerns me is the 'bag'. I have no idea how to handle work and the bag at the same time. I'm still trying to get my diet balanced to control the frequency/gas/smell. I don't know if the frequency of my movements will settle down.
I've had 2 'blowouts' already due to excess gas and both times were embarrassing as hell. I don't think I would be able to cope if that happened at work.
I work with a lot of people in close proximity in a very unventilated room, which concerns me greatly.
Any tips for a newbie in distress? Do I hang a car freshener tree from my bag and try to go for the new car smell?
Please, please help!...........or a list of any good jokes, puns to explain the smell and noise to my colleagues?

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mild_mannered_super_hero
Great place for newbies to learn, I have helped many folks on here learn to irrigate, plus learned a few tricks myself. Great informative site.