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Retroactive Ejaculation Due to Surgical Complications **grap

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Thu Apr 23, 2015 11:15 pm

So here's what happened...

 

I had my rectum removed two weeks ago (my fourth surgery). They warned me about complications and sexual dysfunction just like all the other surgeries, but I think this time something actually happened.

 

I masturbated today for the first time since surgery. I did not get a full (or even partial) erection, but I was using a special lubricant which helped me eventually orgasm. HOWEVER, when I finally did, I felt a painful sensation in my bladder which I'm assuming is what the doctors are referring to when they talk about retroactive ejaculation. And the only thing that came out of my penis was a very very small amount of brown liquid which I'm assuming was blood.

 

I know that 5% of all male pelvic surgeries cause this problem, but here's what I need to know from any man who's had it or any woman who knows about it:

Is what I described retroactive ejaculation or something else?

How permanent is it?

Does this mean I'll never have children?

Even if it is permanent, will the erection part still come back after my pelvis has healed?

 

I'm really scared and any advice on this issue would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks,

-Jake

Fri Apr 24, 2015 12:50 am

Jake,

What you are describing is known as "retrograde ejaculation". Answers to all your questions are easily found on line. You might begin with WebMD:

http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/retrograde-ejaculation

There is absolutely no need for any fear. There's plenty of information available as well as effective treatments. Good luck!

   PB

Fri Apr 24, 2015 12:52 pm

 

For what it's worth....

I had a similar experience after my surgery .. must say if really freaked me out at the time.. Felt like I came but no visual evidence and some minor pain and a period of the body recouping from surgery and getting off some off the meds ..things got better. I don’t have erections as large as before or the same sex drive which just might be an age thing –(ugh) but the plumbing does work and  flow in the right direction

best of luck

 

Sat Apr 25, 2015 11:33 am

i have had simular issues since my surgery in 2000. i thinks fairly common as there are so many nerves around the rectum area. be advised that nerves heal very slowly, but at your age you have a good chance they will return to near normal. while my erections did come back they were and still are not as reliable as pre surgery. my ability to ejaculate did not return, quite possibly because i also had radiation to that area and the tube that delivers the goods is small and delicate {i`m guessing i`m not a dr.} anyhow, the prescription meds available for ED will help but again, nothing is 100% reable for me. i still have a decent sex life but it requires a dedicated partner who will go the extra mile . its early yet, give things time and talk to your doctor about a script for cialis {they used to give you the first dose free}, i would take the smallest dose possible to get the desired results as over time it`s effects diminish{in my case anyhow}. good luck...might want to keep us updated as others may be in a simular condition and watching this thread.

Sat Apr 25, 2015 3:44 pm

Thank all of you. And I promise I'll keep this thread updated and let you know what I learn as things progress.

Sun Apr 26, 2015 1:56 pm

Hi slc,

You are only 2 weeks post op. Interior stitches start dissolving at about 10 days so it is much too early to judge how good your sexual function will eventually be. Nerves can take up to 2 years to heal, and skin scarring is the way that it will always be after about 9 months. 

Just focus on getting through this post op period for now eh? 

 

 

 

Mon Apr 27, 2015 1:53 am

Hi Jake ( & all)

I was thinking of writing to you privately, but then changed my mind.   I'm so sorry to hear that you are experiencing this post surgical complication.  I'm female, so my issues were different, but I do know many guys who've had difficulty after surgery.   It's really way to soon, to know exactly how much function you will get back.   It's scary....having to wait, and think that this important aspect of your life might be changed....or "over".   Try to have some patience...

I've had my ostomy for more than 50 years, ( since I was 15) but when I had my rectum removed 4 years later ( because it just would heal - UC)   some sort of damage or trauma during surgery caused my bladder to stop working.  Although I recovered from the surgery in 2 weeks, my parents wouldn't take me home ( with a catheter) until the doctors could resolve the bladder issue.  I can write about all the tests and procedures & meds they tried on me over a ten week period, but to no avail.  I could not pee. and so I lived with a catheter, and had to stay put in the hospital.  The doctors  were busy discussing doing another surgery ( ureterostomy ?) and then I would have two stomas, 2 bags ?  My parents were frantic, and I was so scared that I'd never get out of the hospital, and never get to have a "normal" life.  And then one day.....I literally "dribbled" out some urine....   It wasn't easy, and I had no sensation, but eventually I learned how to  "bear down" and push out the urine, instead of the normal "relax  & release".   I was finally able to go home....and my  parents never really found out what had happened during surgery to cause this issue. 

Unknown to my parents....my big anxiety was " would I still work".  I was dating, but had not had  intercourse prior to this surgery for a variety of reasons.   My parents were involved in my life & doctor's appointments, and I was still getting probed and prodded and having rectal exams....    I just felt that the doctor or my mother would "notice" something, if I were sexualy active.   But once I healed, my then fiance and I had sex for the first time...and second time...and then again and again....and I felt nothing.  I was devistated and wanted to end my engagement.  But after talking to a therapist, I was encouraged to "give it time"...  We  did some reading ( on sexual response ) and eventually I responded.   Because I'd not had sex prior to the surgery, I'll never know if there was a difference.   It has to be difficult for those people who had experience prior....and then had changes and damage. 

I do know this.....from age, from experience, and from dating men who had some degree of ED due to cancer, radiation, diabetes, medication etc....   That with the right partner, a healthy exciting and  fulfilling sex life is still possible.   The man I am seeing ( had prostate cancer & radiation) and though he is able to ejaculate most of the time....he does have discomfort and "dry" issues on ocassion.   He's been told that it's somewhat "normal".  When he looks at himself, and says " I used to get so hard", I  respond, "and my boobs use to stand up".   Ok....it's not the same..  But I've found that I don't make love to / with an  apendage     We make love/ have sex, with a person..... and there's a lot of ways to find fullfillment.    My guy and I joke about being "Old", and having more action now, than we did over the last 20 years...     I wish you patience....with yourself, and with finding a partner that will be loving, and caring enough to help  you through this difficult time.  

Marsha     

Mon Apr 27, 2015 2:06 pm

You can't go at all by what is happening now, because your body will continue to heal.  Whatever kind of 2 or 4 or 6 week or whatever time frame for healing doesn't really mean that much.  That's the time frame to get back to doing most of what you usually do, but the healing process keeps on going for a long time.  My perineal wound (the sewn up butt) took over 4 years to really heal, and I'm not alone in that.  I mention that because your body is continuing the healing process, so things will likely keep healing and getting better for a long, long time, so keep the faith.

Removal of your rectum obviously leaves a void, so it takes your body awhile to internally move and adjust organs to get a better equilibrium.  Your body is very likely to keep getting better on its own.  Just give it some time.

Sun Dec 20, 2015 4:47 am

Hello 😜

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