Help me convince my husband to consider a smaller dog for my depression

I so want to have a pet.  I am not a cat person but a small to medium small dog would be nice.  However,  my husband wants a Lab and won't even consider looking at a smaller one.  I keep trying to explain that this pet would help me with my depression that I have experienced since the emergency surgeries that I have experienced this last summer.  I had a sweet dog for 18 and a half years.  He passed away a few years back and I miss him.  How can I explain to my husband that a big dog would be too much for me??  He just refuses to entertain anything other than a Lab.  I would be happy with a shelter pet.  Any help would be appreciated.

Dogs are wonderful but I agree with your way of thinking. Dogs like to jump up on us and it could be difficult if she/he lands right on your stoma. A smaller dog couldn't reach the stoma from a standing position. You would just have to train them to be careful with you while your sitting.

An interesting topic!

Small dogs come with their own problems, especially if they become 'lap-dogs'. Labs are easy to train and are much more likely to stay on the floor and accept affection by way of stroking. I have known quite a few men who refused to have a smaller dog but once it was there, in the flesh, they warmed to it just likke they would to a larger one. It's a really complicated business when it comes to people- pet relationships! I always advise people to look into the personality of the propose pet so that there can be a reasonable match. 

Best wishes

Bill 

I had a yellow lab, adopted as an adult dog. She never jumped and was as sweet as pie. I didn't need a leash, she stayed next to me when walking. And some labs are on the smaller side too, though my Carmen was not....75 pounds. Lol. Keep looking, you'll find just the right dog, that you both will love. Good luck

hello and good day

well i can give you a good answer to your problem. i got the good uncle reward my nephew started colledge couple months ago and his dog became my dog. archer is a laberdane

since he is a lab very good manersloves to go for walks, he sheds go for rides in the truck loves to play in the snow lays beside me dont have the jumping problem that bad owners teach thioer dogs if its a puppyi feed him twice a day food not that exspensive either since i get it at costco 25 bucks a bag and it lasts the month he gets 2 cups in morning and 2 at night i had to find hime the low calorie dog food he is an older dog he weighs about 130lbs since i didnt want the big land mines he leaves behind. i can go every 5 to 8 hours for his walks, depends on if he got into my cat food( bad dog) then if you own a small dog i had a Pomeranian they love to be up in your lap or next to you all the timebut potty time was more often since so small dont get a weiner dog had one they are a group animal and need to have then in pairs dont like that bred she never got house broken she loved to crap in front of my frig good morning to you if you were still sleep walking i have had a ;shih tzu very good dog also but another lap dog and loved to go for rides another low mainentence dog they just love their humans alot they also have a good maners and easy caremy aunt owns a yorky another good small dog the dog be came my uncles dogs even tho he wanted a big dog he ended up with a yorky that goes every where with him he did get his big dog also but the yorky is his favorite dog they are due to have puppies soon he is hoping for another female puppy so incase anything happens to the first one he has a back up plan

so bottom line of all the animals i have owned is cats are easier to care for and you can go anywhere no problems i have 3 of them. now i have archer and he requires way more work then just putting him outside walks he goes everywhere i go just like having a kid i try to leave him with someone for couple hours ( my mom) and he whines cause i am gone, so most of the time he is with me all the time no matter where i go he is in the truck all day with me so make sure you really check into the bred of dog you are asking for

How to Get Back to Fitness After Ostomy Surgery with Ryan | Hollister

Thank you all for the great input.  I will consider all of your comments!

A Lab is a high energy dog.My younger daught hadone. It would dammage the blinds on the widows when she left. I foundit anew home. I could notlive with it at my hous. My older daughter has a yellowlab. It iskeptin apin outside. That dog kills cjickens and ducks. And ha been a hand full for them over the years. That is why it is an outide dog.

I have cats and have make sure they donot jumpon mystomach. They have been learning to go around to under mychin tosit on or by me.I amsuprised howfast theylear. At 6and 11 years old. You have to protect your stomach.A big dog will jump up and it is too fast to protect your ostomy.

Best wishes.

I'm a guy, and would rather have a smallish dog. We have had dogs of all sizes and have a Shih Tzu right now. Even a small dog might jump up on you, so I probably wouldn't base the decision on that. A smaller dog is easier to take care of, and importantly, unless you have a huge house takes up less space. You need to research breeds though. Even a small dog could be high maintenence. You need to have an honest discussion with your husband. Who will be taking care of the dog the most? Taking it to the Vet? Spend the most time with it? If the answer is "you", my advice is to make it clear to your husband the dog will be essentially yours' and you should choose the breed. If everything is equal, maybe compromise on something smaller than a Lab but bigger than a lap dog.

Edit: Maybe a Lab mixed with a smaller breed like a Labradoodle?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Labradoodle

I have to agree with your husband.  There is no better pet / breed than a lab.  Although a lab is not a small dog, this breed is extremely smart, easily trained, loyal, well-behaved, easy to care for and fun. Because of their many attributes, many labs are trained to be wonderful guide dogs to serve persons who are blind or disabled. Get a lab!! You won't ever regret such a choice / decision.

 

Labs are awesome! They have the best disposition are are so loving. If you adopt one that has already passed puppy stage you will avoid the chewing and jumping up I would think. Rescues are the best. maybe a lab mix.. Small dogs are way more demanding and high mainenance! I have had both and loved them all. Small ones are easier to bath but much more finicky. Short haired dogs are easier to groom. How about fostering a couple dogs to see how they fit? Just some thoughts. All the best in your choice. Maybe just let your heart choose when you visit a rescue. Rescued dogs are the best!!

You raise some interesting points. It is your life and if a dog would make you happy & comfortable then do what you want. The husband sounds like a laugh a minute & real bundle of joy. If I had a partner like that I would welcome one and say goodbye to the other !

There are breeds of Labradors that are smaller, my brother wants a short legged Labrador, they are much smaller than the standard breed, personally I have a golden retriever and as a companion and friend he is fantastic, I am at home all the day so no issues with him being bored, we walk every morning for around three miles which takes an hour or so, he sheds hair like mad but we don't mind, we feed him once each day with high protein low carb food, he isn't fat at all, he is very loving and attentive, he saved me last Easter when I got my punctured bowel while out walking him, he even has his own Facebook page, Benson Walsh, I have never shared my life with a small breed dog and it needs to be remembered that that's what it is, sharing your life for the next 10-15 years. Benson makes sure that I get out and walk, he was also pivotal in my recovery, my first mile walk was ten days after emergency surgery to remove my appendix and eight inches of colon, according to my diary, even I find that hard to believe, motion is lotion according to the physio in hospital. You need to think long and hard about what you both want and I'm sure you will come to an agreement.

There must be some reason why your husband only wants a lab. Maybe because he had a lab when he was a child, and has such fond memories he'd like to recreate that feeling. You should probably talk to him and find out why he insists on a lab.

Second, you said you only lost your former dog a few years ago, so your husband probably was living with both you and the former dog for part of the time you had him. What breed was that one? Did your husband get along with him? Were there problems between the two? That may be the root of his insistence on a lab.

Third, who took care of the dog before? Who will be taking care of the dog now? If you have always been the caregiver, and expect to be the caregiver again, and it will mainly be interacting with you, your wishes should have more weight than if he would be the caregiver. Again, a frank and open discussion of why you want the dog, why you want a small dog, and that you would be caring for him needs to take place.

Lastly, why not a compromise - two dogs! As long as your husband understands that if he insists on a lab, he can have a lab as long as he cares for the lab. Then you can also have whatever kind of (small) dog you want, to fulfill YOUR needs, and everyone will be happy. Just make sure your husband gets a lab that either doesn't jump, or he trains it not to jump, because there is a health hazard from a jumpy large dog and a person with a stoma.

Hello, I have not been on this site in ages but when I saw your post I knew I needed and wanted to reach out to you.   I have desperately have wanted to get a small dog since my surgery almost 4 years ago.  But I have been afraid.  But with my doctors encouragement I have just recently really started to look.  We always had dogs the whole time I was married.  But, I am scared of the “what if’s?”.  What if I get sick?  I have had a few emergencies one that resulted in emergency surgery.  What if it happens again?  I have no family close by so who would take care of the dog?  Would my ex allow my kids to care for it at his house?  I have been   I thinking of getting a small shelter dog only because I feel it would be easier for me to handle.  That being said, I would occasionally care for my kids golden retriever that they had at my ex’s house.  Now, he was not a small dog at all.  He was about 125lbs and extremely high energy.  I never once had a problem with him.  I was able to teach him quickly to not pull me when out walking and to not jump up on me.  I would love to hear  what you decide.  A dog would certainly help with my depression .  

Thank you everyone for the great input!!

i have cats a 145 pound lab greatdane mix he is called a labordane lots of walks and car rides he goes everywhere i go. so worried about who cares for the animal if you get sick would be you asking your kids friend anyone you know.so now cats are easier to care for and require less work then a dog.

 the only problem i have is once in a great while she will put a small hole in my bag by walking on me doesnt happen alot so sometimes i find a weird leak,  so i cuss at the cat and change no biggy. now the dog has made bigger messes then the cat couple times he got into my trash and pulled out a suprise package and stunk up the house cause he decided that he wanted the smelly treat lucky for me he didnt roll around in it

Portuguese Water Dog just a bit smaller than a lab Girls are normally smaller than boys. Super dog like having a member of a family in the house. 
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This is Teddy he is now 4 years old 2 in the picture  we Breed them in the UK and had a litter of 13 last year and another planned for this year. We show and work the dogs as well. they like a 1-hour walk a day and want to be with you but not in your face .... we have 5   yes 5 !  We show the dogs and will be at Crufts with 4 that have qualified. Teddy is neutered so cant be shown in the UK . But he is worked and swims in the Portuguese water dog trials in Portugal along with one of our others. The good news is they don't shed and the coat is wool but do need a haircut every 8 to 12 weeks. :)  

Hello Digby.

My friend has a portugese water dog who is getting on a bit now. My wife does the trimming so we get to know him quite well. LOvely dog!

Best wishes for Crufts

Bill

 

Hi 👋 !!!

I have a 6lb Yorkie...she’s six years old and I must say she is my companion and company . Aside from having a colostomy bag I also have osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia very bad. And when I have bad days which is quite often she will just curl up very close to me. She is wonderful therapy for me and on the days I hurt sooo bad and cry 😢 she will come sit next to me and take her little paw 🐾 and place it on my thigh and gives me this look of it will be ok mom. Sometimes she will use two 🐾 look at for about 2 minutes then curl up against me.she is very careful and calm. So I understand about a small dog . I purposely got her because I can’t do the things I used to do so she is wonderful company.

Never thought I would be a small dog guy but ended up for a number of years with three small shelter rescues...all 11-13 pounds. Good kids, and full of love. Nothing against labs, but I agree with you.

Shelter dogs are the best ever! Do not shop, Adopt! You may want to go to your local shelter or rescue and Foster a dog if your choice. You can use it as your trial period and give the dog a break from the chaotic shelter of never ending barking!

i volunteered for many years at a Pet rescue and fostered many animals . It helps to know what you like and do not like in a breed! There are always exceptions! I have a Rott/Cocker mix that has the biggest heart of any dog I have ever had! She loves everyone and is extremely smart! She was trained in the prison system in Ohio. The dog lives with inmates preparing them for adoption. She is the best trained dog I have ever had. Shebis only 54 pounds so still fits on the bed with us! Lol  Small pups are more lapdogs but either big or small, they are loving! Good luck in your choice but it may need to reflect to time and energy you have to devote to the dog. Big dogs need more exercise and more room to play outside. Labs especially unless you adopt a senior. (Always a thought)That is all I adopt now! They are discarded so easily because of their age or maybe their owner passes away! I just want them to live out their life in luxury and not a pen or back yard! 

Puppyluv

Greetings, I have to agree with your husband on this one. A lab is without a doubt an excellent choice. Many smaller dogs tend to be yappy, spoiled and disagreeable.

With minimum training, Labs are generally well-behaved and lovable. Because of their many attributes, Labs often serve as guide dogs for the visually impaired and blind.

Get a lab already. You won't be disappointed.  

 

It has been about 3-1/2 years since the original post. Freedancer, can you enlighten us as to what ultimately was decided and how it's working out? Inquiring minds want to know! (Snicker, snicker)

 

I have been divorced for three years and do not have a dog. However, I recently purchased my own home and am thinking of getting two hives of bees!! 😊

Oh, terrific about the bees! We used to have hives in Louisiana when we lived there, but here in Kentucky we're a bit more urban and don't have a place for a hive that wouldn't disturb the neighbors. If you've never worked with bees before, I can make a few suggestions.

1) Point the opening of the hive away from any neighbors. Locate a bird bath nearby so they have a ready source of water during the summer, and keep the water refreshed every week.

2) Don't raise guinea fowl - they are smart birds with a liking for bees, and will position themselves by the hive opening and nip them out of the air as they enter or leave the hive!

3) Find a local beekeeping group and attend meetings and sign up for their newsletter. It's amazing how much stuff you don't know that you don't know until you read about it!

Of course, if you already know about beekeeping from the past, forget I said anything!

Good luck. And if you still decide to get a dog, they usually have no problem with the bees and vice versa. The only time one of our dogs got stung, it was a wild carpenter bee, not one of our gentler honeybees. (Just HAD to stick her nose into the clump of honeysuckle on the fence!)

 

Thank you for the awesome suggestions!! I will be joining a club here in Billings or nearby, I am going to take a class and I checked with the neighbors to make sure they aren't alergic.  So far so good! 

I think you should get a pet. A good reason to have a pet is to feel loved and satisfied. Having a pet is a great joy, as it keeps you company and protects you as well.  to visit this page, https://puritypetibles.com.