Hey Geo, My PTSD has been diagnosed as uncomplicated PTSD which, despite it's seemingly innocuos definition, is a bit more complicated than most other types of PTSD. It requires more than just meds and therapy. The initial solution is to remove the patient from the persistent re-experiencing of the traumatic event. It also includes avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma. For me that would be doctors and hospitals. The anxiety related to a severe belief in betrayal has been translated to my fear of anything/anyone that causes the patient to re-live the traumatic experience. I WILL NEVER TRUST A PERSON IN A POSITION OF AUTHORITY AND POWER AGAIN. That is a strong statement, but I realized that once I was in the hospital, I had NO SAY over my care, try as I might. I was disregarded, ignored, lied to, lied about, my records were IGNORED, and changed (although thanx to modern computers that is not as easy to do as the hospital thought) and basically I was treated as if I had no idea about my 60 year old body and what was happening. These are very good indicators of cover ups. Before this experience, I was a very informed and aware patient and ALWAYS knew what was going on with my physical health. I was open and trusting and I was active beyond the norms, having lived a life full of sports, Hell I even raced in the Baja 1000 in my early 20's in the early 70's!! and that is no small test of physical stamina. I played BB in school, roller skated or biked to work, lived on the beach in San Diego and Baja, as well as being in the beautiful bay area of Cali in the seventies/eighties. In other words, I was not a physical slouch, but after a severe knee injury, I put on weight. The AUTOMATIC assumption of MANY doctors after my weight gain as to who and what I was was immediate and deplorable. My PCP is fully aware of me before and after, and my numbers (BP, blood work, heart) have always been and remain GREAT. But her control of my medical care begins and ends at her office. Her input is considered interference once admitted to the hospital.
So, AS both Bill and Magoo have suggested, if you are depressed and anxious, get some help to figure out what exactly is causing it to persist. That is the beginning. Group therapy helps many and the meds help to keep things under control until you can figure things out. These things are NOT a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of intelligence and a willingness to continue to participate. AS Magoo has just and in the past encouraged me to keep trying to re join society. I imagine and hope that eventually I will find that trigger that allows me to, against my inner anxiety, trust again in another human being. Until then I reside within my four walls and reach out to the world through sites such as this one to share my experiences.