This topic is about a woman's reflections on the first year of her journey as the wife of an ostomate. Her husband underwent a total colectomy, resulting in an ileostomy, after a severe pancolitis flare. She shares her experiences and insights from this challenging yet transformative time.

- The decision for surgery was made out of necessity due to her husband's rapid physical decline, despite facing criticism from others.
- The emotional toll was significant, with anxiety during the operation and concerns over complications like ileus, a nasogastric tube, and a post-operative wound infection.
- Recovery was a slow and careful process, involving spoon-feeding, short walks, and muscle rebuilding. Remarkably, her husband returned to work within two months.
- She now feels a deepened love and admiration for her husband, appreciating the ostomy bag for providing them with a renewed sense of well-being and a future together.
- She expresses gratitude for the stoma, dismissing any social stigma and embracing the humor, celebration, and intimacy that the surgery has allowed them to enjoy.

Advice and insights from her experience include:

1. Recognize that a stoma or ostomy is a lifesaving device. Focusing on the life it preserves can help both partners and patients accept its presence.
2. Many long-term ostomates report living normal, active lives and often describe the surgery as the best thing that happened to them.
3. The unwavering support of caregivers can strengthen relationships, with many partners finding that their bond grows deeper during illness and recovery.
4. It's normal for ostomates to experience moments of self-pity. Allow these feelings, but remember that the bag is keeping you alive and plan to move forward the next day.
5. Single ostomates who fear rejection should continue seeking supportive people. Those who judge an ostomy aren't worth the effort; genuine partners will value the whole person.
6. Caregivers should practice self-care and, when possible, schedule occasional respite days to prevent burnout.
7. Serious health challenges can become shared adventures that add meaning and variety to life.