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Mar 29, 2021

Dating with an Ostomy: Challenges and Experiences

Dating with an ostomy can be a challenging experience, as expressed by someone who has lived with an ostomy for several years. They shared their frustration, saying that "dating with an ostomy sucks." While they didn't provide more details or ask specific questions, others have offered some helpful advice and insights:

- Attitude is key: Many people who have lived with an ostomy for a long time say that dating can be enjoyable if approached with confidence and optimism.

- Rejection as a filter: If someone cannot accept your ostomy, they might not be the right match for you. It's better to move on rather than take it personally.

- Timing of disclosure:
1. Build a connection first and share information about your ostomy once trust has developed.
2. Being honest can strengthen a potential relationship.

- Boost your confidence: Focus on your charm, wit, and the personality traits that defined you before surgery. Remember, "you're still the same person—just with a bag."

- Use targeted resources: Consider using the site’s "Find Members" dating/search tool to meet other ostomates. Mainstream dating apps and local interest groups are also good options.

- Meet through shared activities: Joining clubs, hobbies, or volunteer work can create natural connections and take the pressure off formal dating.

- Be patient and persistent: Dating takes time for everyone. Challenges like COVID and other life events can add hurdles, but perseverance is important.

- Keep perspective: Many people date successfully while managing other visible disabilities, such as using a wheelchair. An ostomy does not prevent meaningful relationships.

- Personal success stories: Some people share their experiences of long marriages, multiple relationships, and diverse adventures, showing that an ostomy doesn't have to limit your social or romantic life.
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