Adjusting emotionally and socially to a new ostomy can be a challenging journey. Imagine being a 34-year-old divorced mother of two, just three months after surgery, grappling with feelings of anger, depression, and a loss of self-confidence. This person has been through a lot, with a medical history that includes five years of complications, eight bowel-blockage surgeries, and a near-fatal obstruction that led to the creation of a stoma. Now, she feels her appearance overshadows everything, worries about dating, and seeks stories, support, and coping strategies from others who understand what living with an ostomy is like.

Here are some pieces of advice and insights shared by others who have been through similar experiences:

1. Emotional process
- Allow yourself to grieve the "old" body; acceptance will come with time.
- Remember, you are still the same person capable of giving and receiving love; start with self-love.
- It's normal to feel depression and anger; sharing these feelings with others who truly understand can lighten the burden.

2. Seeking support
- Many people offer one-to-one chats or a "shoulder to cry on."
- Talking with peers who have been through similar experiences can be helpful when friends or family may not fully understand.

3. Positive reframing
- An ileostomy or colostomy can restore life by ending pain, urgency, and blockages.
- Comparing your situation to others with severe disabilities can help you appreciate the gift of simply being alive.

4. Body image and intimacy tips
- Consider using pouch covers designed for intimate moments to boost confidence.
- Invest in flattering or "sexy" underwear to feel good about yourself.
- Home-sewn decorative pouch covers can improve how you feel about your appearance.
- Watching ostomy videos on YouTube can help normalize the experience by showing people confidently changing bags.

5. Dating and disclosure
- Many partners are accepting when told at the right time; choose who you tell and when.
- Reflect on whether you would reject someone for having an ostomy—likely not—and apply that empathy to yourself.

6. Practical encouragement
- Life does get better; crying episodes tend to diminish over time.
- Stay strong and remember that better days are ahead; living itself is a precious gift, despite the challenges.