This topic is about finding ways to boost self-esteem and confidence in intimate situations after having a colostomy. The person sharing their experience has been living with a colostomy for three years and has generally adapted well, but still feels self-conscious when naked with their partner. Despite having a loving and attentive husband, they worry about him accidentally touching the pouch, which leads to pulling away and frustration for both. They are seeking advice on how to regain confidence and enjoy intimacy again. Here are some helpful suggestions and insights shared by others:

1. Professional help
- Consider short-term or couples counseling or sex therapy to address long-standing body-image concerns and improve communication.

2. Open communication with your partner
- Have honest conversations about specific worries, like accidental pouch contact. Many find that expressing these fears can reduce anxiety and allow partners to offer reassurance.
- Understand that a loving partner’s desire is genuine, but self-esteem must come from within.

3. Lingerie and pouch-cover options designed for ostomates
- Explore options like Yentl’s Secrets for custom-sized pouch covers, camisoles, teddies, and “cummerbunds” for men.
- OstomySecrets offers “Foxy Wrap” and “Vixen Wrap” intimate wraps, as well as everyday waistbands.
- Stoma-na-und.de provides lace waist wraps and two-piece lace “bottom wrap” styles available online.
- Others suggest finding “sexy underthings specially designed for ostomies” and wearing long camisoles or nightwear to feel attractive yet covered.

4. Smaller or more discreet pouching systems
- Use Convatec’s smallest closed-end pouch during intimate moments.
- Some prefer wearing a small wrap or lingerie piece over the pouch for added security.

5. Temporary pouch-free options
- Consider colostomy plugs, like the Alterna Continence Plug, which can be inserted into the stoma and covered with a flesh-colored cap, allowing up to 6–7 hours without a bag. Consult a stoma nurse first to ensure suitability, as output must be soft to formed.

6. Body image and self-care strategies
- Set personal goals related to fitness, appearance, or hobbies to build self-esteem based on accomplishments.
- Exercise, healthy eating, and wearing flattering clothing can help some regain a positive body image after surgery.
- Remember that the stoma saved your life; accepting it as part of your body can transform your perception from “ugly” to “empowering.”

7. Reassurance from shared experiences
- Many ostomates share similar feelings of embarrassment, showing that this issue is common and not unique to one person.
- Success stories highlight that with time, openness, and the right accessories, couples can resume satisfying sex lives.