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Feb 24, 2012

Stomach Rumbles at Son's Final Home Game

This topic is about dealing with the sometimes embarrassing sounds that can come from a stoma, like gurgles or other noises, especially in public settings. Here are some friendly tips and insights to help manage these situations:

1. If your stoma makes a noise, you can simply say, "I guess I need to eat" or "I must be hungry" to explain it away.

2. Use props to divert attention:
- Pull out your phone or iPod, glance at it, and say, "Time to recharge!"
- Jingle some loose change in your pocket to cover up the sound.

3. Redirect attention with a bit of humor:
- Look at the person next to you and say nothing, or jokingly suggest they might need a snack.

4. Embrace humor to cope:
- Create your own ostomy abbreviations, like LMSO for "Laughing My Stoma Off."
- Give your stoma a fun name, like "Alfie," "Helga," or "Stefan," and think of the noises as its "voice."
- Share playful threats or jokes, like the "Ostomy Bandits" bank-robbery gag.

5. Understand the different "soundtracks":
- Ileostomies often gurgle or squeak, while colostomies can make classic "fart" noises. Keeping a sense of humor helps.

6. In medical or formal settings, a simple, factual statement like "I have an ostomy" can help diffuse any embarrassment.

7. For night-time noise issues, some people gently press a pillow over the appliance, but mostly rely on patience and laughter.

8. There isn't a proven medication or product to eliminate stoma noises, so coping strategies focus on distraction, explanation, and maintaining a positive attitude.
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