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Jun 27, 2023

How do men continue on with dating (Urostomy)?

This topic is about a man who has had his bladder and prostate removed and is now navigating the world of dating as a urostomate. He is concerned about how to manage intimate relationships, especially since he cannot achieve an erection without a prostate. Here are some insights and advice that might help:

1. Many women can reach orgasm without penetration. Consider exploring other forms of intimacy such as oral, manual, and tantric techniques, as well as focusing on other erogenous zones like the ears. Being open-minded and willing to experiment can lead to satisfying experiences for both partners.

2. It might be helpful to delay discussing sexual limitations until you have built emotional trust with someone. Initially, focus on developing a friendship and finding compatibility.

3. If you choose to use dating websites or apps, proceed with caution. Never share money or personal information until you have verified the person’s identity through their work, home address, and social media. Be wary of anyone who seems "too good to be true."

4. There are erectile dysfunction options that might still be effective after prostate removal:
- Vacuum erection devices or penis pumps have been recommended by others who have used them successfully.
- Oral ED drugs like Viagra, penile injections, implants, or mechanical pumps may also be options, though their effectiveness can vary. It's best to consult with a urologist.
- Regular "penile exercise" with a pump can help maintain healthy tissue and provide an erection when needed. Keeping the device in the bathroom can allow for discreet use.

5. Nerve damage from surgery can improve over time, so it's important to stay in contact with your urologist or stoma nurse for ongoing assessments and referrals.

6. If finances allow, consider seeing specialized sex therapists or professionals who have experience with disability or ostomy issues.

7. During intimate moments, you can hide or secure the ostomy pouch using clothing or support garments. Many have found this to be a successful approach.

8. Remember that life and sexuality can continue after an ostomy. While the adjustment can be challenging, others have found workable solutions and fulfilling relationships.
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