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41,403 members
Nov 26, 2011

Feeling Lonely and Insecure After Surgery

This topic is about a 46-year-old woman who has been living with an ostomy for two years. She is feeling lonely and insecure, especially after a recent breakup from a long-distance relationship. While she is thankful for the surgery that saved her life, she sometimes struggles with the presence of the ostomy bag and the solitude of her home, particularly during the holidays. She is reaching out to others who might understand her situation and offer support.

Here are some pieces of advice and insights that might help:

1. Engage with online communities like this forum to share your experiences and build friendships. Many people have found comfort and companionship here.

2. Consider joining local social groups:
- Attend meetings of your regional Ostomy Society or support group to connect with others facing similar challenges.
- Get involved in hobby or social clubs to expand your social circle and increase the chances of meeting someone compatible.

3. Pets can be a great source of comfort. Many find that the companionship of a dog or cat provides motivation and eases feelings of loneliness.

4. Remember, you are not alone. Both men and women with ostomies experience similar concerns about dating and self-esteem, and there is mutual understanding within the community.

5. Believe that there are accepting partners out there. Many have shared stories of supportive relationships, marriages, and fulfilling lives after surgery.

6. Try to view the ostomy as a life-saving gift that has opened up new opportunities and experiences, rather than just a burden.

7. If the winter or holiday season intensifies feelings of sadness, look forward to spring and the new possibilities it brings. Seasonal blues are temporary.

8. Take charge of your situation. Loneliness won't change without action, so consider taking steps like joining support groups, attending social events, trying online dating, or volunteering to create a happier future.
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