This topic is about navigating the delicate situation of discussing an ostomy with a date. The person in question is preparing for a first date and is unsure about how and when to bring up the fact that they have an ostomy. They are open about it and not embarrassed, but they want to avoid sounding too casual or dramatic. Here are some practical suggestions and insights shared by others:

1. Timing of Disclosure
- Many suggest waiting until the second or third date to allow both people to get to know each other in a normal setting first. It's best to reveal it privately before any intimacy.
- Some prefer to mention it right away or even over the phone beforehand to avoid feeling deceptive and to filter out those who might not be comfortable with it.
- Whatever timing you choose, present it in a straightforward manner. People often take their cue from your attitude.

2. How to Frame the Conversation
- Introduce it as a minor medical issue or a life-saving surgery rather than a big confession.
- Some use humor or a simple line like, "There's something you should know if we're going to get naked," or even share a Wikipedia link.
- Highlight your health and normal lifestyle, such as running or playing sports, and emphasize that no special treatment is needed.

3. Managing First-Date Intimacy
- Avoid any physical revelation until after you've disclosed the ostomy; most partners won't guess.
- Wear supportive or modified underwear to keep the pouch secure.

4. Possible Partner Reactions
- Reactions can vary from immediate acceptance to polite friendship only.
- Many partners are relieved to find out it's not something they consider "worse," like a criminal record or a terminal illness.

5. Psychological Perspective
- Ostomates often feel more self-conscious about the appliance than others do.
- Treat it as something different, not wrong. Confidence and humor can be very helpful.

6. Hernia Concerns
- It's advised to address a parastomal hernia promptly, as there are risks of complications like strangulation, sepsis, and appliance leakage.

7. General Social Disclosure
- Use similar principles when sharing with friends, colleagues, or sports partners. Let them get to know you first, then share when it feels right.

8. Encouragement
- There are many success stories of long marriages, thriving dating lives, and stronger social circles after surgery.