This topic delves into the concept of beauty, especially for those living with an ostomy, and challenges the traditional focus on physical appearance. It encourages a deeper understanding of what it means to be truly beautiful. Here are some key insights and advice shared by the community:

- Compliments like "nobody can see it" or "beauty is only skin-deep" often miss the essence of true beauty, which is found in compassion, empathy, and how we treat others.
- Experiencing serious illness and surgery can enhance these inner qualities, teaching us gratitude, humility, and the value of true friendship.
- Many believe that ostomates are already "beautiful people" and hope they see this in themselves, with outside recognition being a nice bonus.
- A core challenge is understanding how ostomates, potential partners, and society perceive or stigmatize an ostomy appliance. What truly attracts or repels us?

Additional reflections and questions include:

- The difference between being seen as "beautiful" versus being a "beautiful person" and who decides if an ostomy carries stigma.
- Whether ostomates separate their physical appearance from their total being, viewing the pouch with disgust or appreciation for its life-saving role.
- Encouragement to examine how we truly see ourselves and whether we identify as "a neat person who just happens to have one of those things."

Advice and insights from the community:

1. Outer vs. Inner Appeal
- While youth culture often prioritizes looks, lasting relationships are built on inner qualities. Online friendships can allow personalities to connect before physical appearances are considered, but caution is advised to avoid scams.

2. Society’s Superficiality & Prejudice
- Vanity and superficial dating norms can marginalize those perceived as different. A personal story shared involved PTA mothers ridiculing a father with post-surgery disabilities, highlighting that even adults can be cruel.

3. Self-Perception, Stigma & Mental Health
- Some ostomates feel "damaged" or "broken," with partners witnessing loved ones struggle with self-loathing or anger. Seeking professional counseling for depression or PTSD is advised, and partners should not tolerate verbal abuse. It's important to challenge the destructive belief that "no one could love me with a bag."

4. Living, Dating & Intimacy with an Ostomy
- While finding casual relationships may not be difficult, finding a lifelong partner can be more challenging but not impossible. Honest communication, self-confidence, and choosing compassionate partners are key.

5. Advocacy & Visibility
- Viewing an ostomy as a prosthetic lifeline can transform shame into gratitude. There is a desire for celebrity ostomates to "go public," for TV awareness ads, and for national fundraisers to normalize bowel disease and appliances. When the unknown becomes known, fear and stigma decrease.

6. Personal Growth & Resilience
- Many strive for self-acceptance, even if they have challenging days. Inner virtues like respect, courtesy, empathy, and forgiveness are seen as true beauty and are consistently demonstrated in the community's support for one another.