Well, Mr. Mike, for a man that does not like to think, it seems you've been thinking quite a bit. :)
I agree, outer beauty shouldn't be important at all. But when we are young, that outer beauty is what first attracts. Depending on what we are looking for, if the inner- self is not as appealing we move on. Unfortunately,in this day and age vanity and narcissism seem to be the status quo in society. Some are only looking for arm-candy. To those people it doesn't matter what the inner self is made of. Those people are usually superficial and believe they have the perfect life. This reminds me of an article I read some time ago about a young, rich, beautiful (in some eyes and definitely in her own) woman who hit and severely injured a man on his bicycle. Her biggest concern was not hitting the man and possibly killing him, she was upset "he" put a dent in her car and she lost her license for about six months! She should of been thrown in jail! In reading her responses to anything, she truly believed she did nothing wrong and that it was unfair they took her license. It boggled my mind. I am sure that woman attracted many men if she never opened her mouth. But her personality made her the ugliest person I have ever run across in my years.
Along this line the internet can play an important role in that you can actually get to know someone before "seeing" them in some cases. I know, it also leaves things wide open for scam artists and other culprits. But the idea is appealing to be able to hide behind a screen until you are sure you are not going to be spurned for your looks or some outward deformity. I have known a few people who have fallen in love with someone that wasn't even close to their image of who they thought they wanted in a mate that met online- before knowing what each looked like. It would be ideal if the world worked this way but it doesn't.
I can't even say this beauty thing or stigma thing only affects the young. But it affects them the most. There are people my age and older that still want someone that is HOT. Just look at the dating sites. Most people start out by saying they are young in mind or heart or are active and jog 3489714356 miles a day. Blah, blah, blah. And when did kayaking become so popular?! I have been on a few sites and I probably looked through 100 profiles before finding a man that peeked my interest. It was usually the one that claimed his happiest form of exercise was walking to the back yard to get to his hammock on a nice day. One thing that really puzzles me is why there are so many men well into their 50's and 60's who have never been married in their entire life? That\'s a whole different topic, I'm sure, but it just popped in my head because I have seen it so much; even on this site.
If you are not attractive on the oustide it's more challenging getting people to want to know you. If you have health problems, especially something like a bag sticking of your belly, or a brace going up your back, or plastic legs, or funny eyes or a speech problem (even if your mind is at genius level) it makes it even more challenging. The 60's hippies THOUGHT they had all the answers and perhaps were heading in the right direction, but something went drastically wrong in the 80's and 90's. (Personally I believe it was disco.)
My husband was one of the most intelligent people I have ever known. Brain surgery left him severely disabled - speech, walking, one of his eyes looked outward and didn't move. But his mind was still the same. In the earlier years after his surgery he was still able to function pretty well on his own and insisted on doing so. Our daughter had a function at school that we needed to pay for. One night we all hopped in the car and drove to school. The PTA moms were in charge of collecting the money. My husband wanted to go in and take care of it. So I dropped him off at the front door and parked waiting for him. He went in proud he could do this for his daughter. Like a normal dad. He came out with a very defeated look. When I asked him what happened he said after he paid one of the mom's she looked at the woman next to her and said "Isn't it wonderful what they are letting retards do now-a-days?" He said they giggled at each other. These were grown women with children and husbands. I was so angry, but he asked me not to go in and say anything, so I didn't. (But you can believe I said a little prayer to the powers that be to curse them at some point in their lives!) How were these mother's teaching their children to accept abnormalities in others? Society needs to change and I don't see that happening, ever.
We all deserve to be loved and cared for and understood. All we need to do is find one person that makes us feel this way and all else wouldn't seem as difficult. Some of us have been fortunate enough to find that person already and she/he may still be in our life. But it's hard when you don't have looks, money or health that the majority are looking for. You see and hear of it in elementary schools. The fat kid, the ugly kid, the kid with the ragged clothes or speech impediments, slow minds. Life is a struggle for them, always. Not because of the trees, or the grass or the air they breath, but because people they have to deal with in their lives. People don't change much. My story about the PTA mom's above also proves this point.
Yep, there are people who are perfectly content and at peace with who they are and the world around them. That's the person I've tried to become but have always fallen short. I can't imagine what it would be like to be totally at peace with yourself and content with life and truly, honestly be blissful every waking moment. But even Ghandi had a wife and children. Life is a lot easier to handle when you have someone to handle it with.
Society needs to change a lot. I doubt, very much, I will ever see that. The majority are superficial. The song "Little Boxes" crept into my mind while writing this. :)