This topic is about the challenges of dating when you have to disclose personal health issues like cancer, an ostomy, or herpes to a new partner. It can be tough to know when and how to bring up these subjects, but here are some thoughtful pieces of advice and insights to help navigate these conversations:

1. Whenever possible, choose to communicate in real-time and in a private setting. Meeting in person is ideal because it allows for better understanding through tone, body language, and eye contact. If meeting in person isn't possible, consider using video calls or phone calls instead of relying solely on text or email.

2. It's important to disclose these topics when physical intimacy is likely to happen or when you feel a genuine romantic connection. Being honest early on can prevent hurt feelings later.

3. When discussing your ostomy or other conditions, try to present the information calmly and factually. Emphasize that the ostomy saved your life and that you are doing well now. Your confidence in yourself can greatly influence how your partner reacts.

4. Some people find it helpful to immediately address any curiosity by guiding their partner's hand over the ostomy pouch to show that it doesn't cause pain. Reassure your partner that their main concern should be your comfort, not the appliance itself.

5. Be prepared for a range of reactions. Some partners may walk away, while others will be completely accepting. Remember, negative responses are more about their limitations than your worth.

6. Consider viewing your ostomy as a "badge of survival" and approach the conversation from that perspective. Challenges with self-esteem, such as weight changes or scars, can sometimes feel more difficult than the ostomy itself, but being open and resilient can help build stronger connections.

7. If a partner can't handle your situation, it's better to find out early and move on. Once acceptance is established, relationship issues are rarely about the ostomy itself.