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Mar 01, 2016

When to mention my colostomy bag?

When it comes to dating with a colostomy bag, it can be a bit tricky to figure out how and when to bring it up with someone new. The main concern is how to disclose this personal detail without scaring off a potential romantic partner. Here are some thoughts and advice on how to handle this situation:

- There isn't a one-size-fits-all approach. It's important to choose a method that feels right for you. If humor is your style, go for it, but keep in mind that not everyone may share your sense of humor.

- Confidence is key. Talk about your ostomy in a straightforward manner. The more at ease you are, the more at ease your partner will be.

- Some people prefer to mention their ostomy early on in the relationship. This way, there are no surprises, and you can address any questions as they come up naturally.

- Others choose to wait until the relationship becomes more serious or is heading towards intimacy before discussing their medical history and the reason for the bag.

- Many have found that partners rarely react negatively. Often, the worry is more on the part of the person with the ostomy. If someone does react poorly, it might be a sign that they aren't the right person for you.

- In more casual encounters, like a "Netflix and chill" situation, the ostomy might be more of a consideration. It's important to assess the situation and decide what's best for you.

- Remember to focus on who you are as a person—your heart, mind, and personality. A supportive partner will care about you, not the bag.

- Keeping up your self-esteem is important. Engage in activities that make you feel good, like exercising or pursuing personal goals. Remember, the bag is a part of what keeps you healthy and alive.

- Practice a simple explanation. Start by describing the illness and the life-saving surgery, then mention the bag as a practical outcome.

- Use personal confidence boosters, like a favorite song or humor, to help you feel positive when entering new relationships.
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