This topic is about dealing with the challenges of pain and depression during ostomy recovery. The person sharing their experience is having a tough time with significant abdominal pain and feelings of deep depression. They describe their situation as overwhelming, even after trying to refresh themselves with a shower and a new appliance.

Here are some helpful insights and advice:

1. Pain and Depression Management
- Pain often feels worse at night. It might be helpful to discuss sleep aids or adjusting pain medications with your doctor.
- Techniques like cognitive or mindfulness-based practices can help reduce the perception of pain and improve mood.
- Building skills to tolerate pain takes time but can be beneficial in the long run.

2. When to Seek Medical Help
- If pain persists or worsens, especially with nausea, it could indicate a blockage or other complications. It's safest to get assessed at a hospital if you're unsure.
- Keeping a detailed food diary can help identify foods that might trigger blockages or discomfort.

3. Emotional Coping Strategies
- It's normal to feel sad, angry, or to cry. These emotions can act as a release, so let them pass rather than holding them in.
- Take things one day at a time; even if today isn't better, better days will come.
- Remember the life-saving aspect of the ostomy, and try to focus on gratitude to help counterbalance feelings of despair.
- Reach out to the online ostomy community for support, as sharing experiences can help reduce feelings of isolation.

4. Positive Distraction and Lifestyle Tips
- Keep your mind occupied with hobbies, planning trips, small home projects, music, or spending time outdoors.
- Engage in moderate physical activity as tolerated, like walking or gentle stretching, to improve mood and digestion.
- Limit alcohol consumption, as it may temporarily numb feelings but can worsen depression and cause dehydration.

5. Long-Term Outlook and Acceptance
- Accepting a stoma as a "new normal" usually takes months, not days.
- Many people report feeling more confident and adept with appliance changes and lifestyle adjustments after the first year.
- Helping others by sharing tips and offering encouragement can be therapeutic.

6. Additional Resources and Alternatives
- For complex hernias or permanent-stoma concerns, consider consulting surgeons who offer continent-ileostomy options like the BCIR (Barnett Continent Intestinal Reservoir). Information is available from Dr. Rehnke’s team at Palms of Pasadena Hospital in St. Petersburg, FL.
- Weekly BCIR web-chats are available and can provide second-opinion perspectives.

Remember, you are not alone. Medical evaluation is crucial for unresolved pain, and while the emotional ups and downs are real, practical steps and community support can make each day a little easier.