I have had an ileostomy for 46 years. I can relate to your fears and experiences working and playing in public places. I wish we could have here what the UK has, but since we don't, we always just assess our surroundings and make use of it. I never told my employers/bosses for a number of reasons. I was concerned about health insurance (at least in the later days of my employment). Secondly, I did not feel it was any of their business really! I have learned a few tricks of the trade over the years. When you are in a public restroom using the toilet, put some toilet paper down in the toilet first before emptying your bag. It silences the sounds. I used to have a lot of air/gas build up in my bag. It was especially difficult when I wore pantyhose, which was most of the time. I would cut a hole with scissors in the pantyhose around the area of your ostomy bag. I could get several wears and washes of my hose before they would run if you wash by hand. When I could tell my bag was full of air, I would make it to the restroom as soon as I could. I would try to hide the puffy look beginning to show by finding something I could hold over my abdomen, i.e. a purse, a sweater/coat, papers, file folders. You can get real creative when you have to. Have I had my appliance come up and have to tape it down - absolutely - more so the first few years of wear. You don't want to leave it taped down too long of a time as your skin will get real red and sore. It seemed after that I got better at applying my appliance, and it also took a while (I think) for my skin to adjust to this foreign object (ha). I would awake at night with an appliance that came up - a mess all over. It's like up in the middle of the night with a baby - you just do it and make the best of it. If you wear a one-piece appliance, you cannot change the bag without changing the whole appliance; therefore, I get the two-piece. It seems odor issues improve if you can change your bag during the wear time of your appliance. The items available now are so more advanced than when I first had my surgery. I use a Convatec wafer, but before applying it, I use an Eakin Seal cohesive ring that I put over the stoma onto the skin. It is flexible and can shape it to fit your stoma size. Everyone's stomas are different shapes and sizes. Anyway, the short and long of this story is you get greater protection with a leakage, longer wear, and peace of mind. If you have an ostomy support group in your area, I recommend you attend. Not only do you meet some wonderful people, but there is so much you can learn from other people like ourselves. I hope I help in some way. If I can answer any questions for you, please feel free. We are all there for you.
C.