Embracing Scars: Challenging Society's Norms

You can say being young is the best
But my life is a wreck
With this bag taped under my chest
When I look in the mirror
I just want to cry,
Let the tears burn my face
But then I realize

It's okay, it's alright
Show those scars
Show your fight
Let those tears fade away
Why should I care what others say?

I can wear a crop top
Doesn't matter if you stop to stare
I could be in a grave
Or one of the saved
That's why I wear a bag!

Nice work Shadow! And good to hear from you.

Hello Shadowchick.

Thank you so much for expressing your thoughts in this way and sharing with us. Obviously, I appreciate your style of writing because it is one I am familiar with. However, I wonder how many readers would appreciate the the context of the literary journey through the verses - from a statement of negativity and the reasions why; through to the realization that your emotions and thoughts do not need to be negative; then on to a statement of the fact that you have come to terms with your situation and are thankful that you are still here to enjoy life.  This completes the storyline of the concept in a concise and understandable way. 

I congratulate you in formulating your response in this way and I particularly like the concept, encapsulated in the question: " Why should I care what others say?" Once we decide to ignor what others might be thinking about us, we can be free to make our own journey in life, unencumbered by the negativity of others. 

My very best wishes and I hope you continue to write in this format.

Bill

I am very sorry if I offended anyone, I just needed to get this written down, writing is my coping skill.

Hello again  Shadowchick. 

Only too well I know those feelings about wanting to get a concept written down, as I also use writing as a coping mechanism. 

I cannot think that you could possibly have offended anyone by sharing your thoughts in this way (especially on a site like this, where we all like to offload our feelings occasionally). Therefore, an apology is surely not necesssary in this instance. 

Because of our similarities in writing style, I will share with you some of my own angst with regard to upsetting those who may not like rhyming verse.  Over the years there have been a few criticisms of my rhymes, ranging from simple dislike of rhyming verse, to anger at what is being expressed in the sentiments and concepts. This was particularly so when the rhymes were satirical or implying criticism of the establishment and/or the bureaucracy. My responsive attitude was try to ascertain whether my critics were expressing an opposite (or hostile) viewpoint because they disagreed with the message, or whether they were responding to my literary efforts in order to help me improve for next time. 

With regard to the latter motive: Over the years these more-helpful critics have shown that they are quite capable of disagreeing with each other on almost everythiing. Hence, in my earlier work I took the advice of one university lecturer and adopted a style of rhyme which involved capital letters for each and every line. A few years later, the advice from a different university lecturer was that this approach was grammatically incorrect and that I should punctuate the rhymes according the protocol for written prose. In an effort to please! I subsequently adopted the advice of the second critic, which means many of my verses are now littered with punctuation marks.

From my own perspective, none of these 'rules' of literary style really matter at all because poetry is the language of emotion (not necessarily logic!)  so, surely it is the message that counts and if people understand what we are saying (with or without punctuation) the the goal is achieved. 

I have nearly always written with just one person in mind. (ocasionally, but not always, that person is ME!) If that person or anyone else responds in a way which indicates that they like the rhyme, or have learned something from the message, then it feels as if the exercise of writing was more than worthwhile. 

If we put our literary work into the public domain, then we must expect that not everyone will like it. This is their perogative. I doesn't mean that we should be swayed by their opinions or literary tastes.

There was one vehement critic who told me that I was out of date and that poetry was no longer written in the type of rhyme that I prefer (implying that it was 'unfashionable' and  I should change my style to suit their tastes). 

I welcomed their comments as a motivation to write a whole book of rhyming verse on the subject 'UNFASHIONABLE RHYMING VERSE'. This also gave me the opportunity of documenting my feelings about another criticism that was levelled at a different aspect of my rhymes where someone commented that science and research was not a suitable subject for poetry. --Not so, from my perspective, as emotions can be stimulated through any concept or subject matter  and science is no exception in this regard. 

The main genre for my own rhyming verse has been to document the angst of people who otherwise might not have been abble to express their emotional pain in this way. Hence the focus on writing for just one individual. The basic principles and practice of this approach were published in 1995 under the title 'In-Verse Feedback: An alternative psycho-social therapy'?

As we have found with the sometimes socially isolating condition of having a stoma. There is a feeling that only those who have the first-hand experience of the condition can truly understand the associated problems and emotions. Fortunately, in such circumstances, when we share our literary efforts with fellow 'sufferers', we can often find that they will identify with the condition, the social and emotional circumstances, and appreciate the rhyming verse because it may well reflect their own feelings on the subject. 

If only one person responds by saying that they liked such a poem, then I feel it has been worth the effort to produce it . 

I look forward to readinng many more rhyming verses from you as you cope with the vagaries of stoma life.

Best wishes

Bill  

Hi Shadowchick

I know what you're saying and it is the same for all of us. Acceptance is the key word in the survival of life with an ostomy.

I have 2 ostomies and though life ain't great, it's certainly better than the alternative.

Shadow,

Great verse! It says a lot, and your choice to voice that in your way is awesome! Don't let anyone ever annoy you with cries of being offended. They can just hit the delete!

Puppyluv

I found nothing offensive at all about your true feelings.

Hi Shadow, I cannot imagine anyone being offended by your words. I think it is great you have found an outlet to express yourself.

Best wishes.

Hi Shadowchick.

I think it’s terrific you took the time
To express your thoughts in this little rhyme.
You certainly got some affirmation
From Bill’s written appreciation.

Lots of folks who contribute here
Are experts in various arenas.
Some are just learning but
Are way more than laughing hyenas.

We tend to be respectful
And usually we’re careful
To offer our thoughts
From things we were taught
With hope it will be helpful.

I don’t know the rules regarding this method
And I don’t even know where I’m headed.
But one of the most precious things in life
Is sharing with others in the absence of rife.

Whether four lines or five
So long as we’re alive
We can share our experiences
Like talking over our fences
With folks who care and will even admit
Like us they’re not perfect
But refuse to quit.

Because when it’s all said and done
Each of us is the one
To whom we must report.
And if we’re not polite and caring
A label we’ll be wearing
Suggesting we just fell short.

This is way more difficult than I thought
And I deserve all the anxiety it brought.
So I’ll go back to hoping my writing
Though way less exciting
Just words that have some meaning,

might be welcomed by you guys

and hopefully useful.

Oh crap! That didn’t rhyme.

Thanks encouraging all the gracious comments.

Mike

A couple of weeks back, I went to a beach and did not wear my t-shirt, which as you can imagine, let my ostomy bag hang out. I was fine until I went to the water, waited around a little bit, turned around to come back, and there were three women standing there with their mouths open, staring at me. Yes, I felt belittled, embarrassed, and very less than. I was talking to a friend the other day about this situation, and they suggested that if I was to stop, let them in the face, and say, "If you have any questions, I would be glad to answer them," pause for a moment, hold my chin up, and walk away. Serving the ball back into their court and going on with my business. Haven't tried it yet, but my first move was to be out in public with no t-shirt. Maybe I can have the nerve to try that next.

Andy

Hello Mike.

I ticked the 'like'

to show how I appreciate

the concepts that you illustrate.

And I like your attitude

to humour in the latitude

you give yourself in what you say  

when things do not go quite your way.

Best wishes

Bill

Once again, Bill, thank you for your generous, kind words.  Oh, and did I mention I think you're brilliant?

Sincerely,

Mike

Aww shadow, it was lovely. I think you're only writing what we all here feel at some stage. I know I certainly did, but here's one to think about. Nbsp; lol

So what, you wipe your arse?

So what, you sit on a public toilet seat out and about? No chlamydia for me, I'm alright. I'll stand and take on this fight!

So what, you can eat skin? I prefer to eat food, thank you. Lol

So what, shit happens and mine I carry in a bag. You carry yours around inside. At least mine's already on the out!

So what, you stop and stare? I have a bag and you're a jealous twat.

When you look in the mirror, you see normality. Nbsp

When I look in the mirror, I see a life that was worth the fight!