Hello Simo. I am sorry to hear about your experiences with the medical staff but I am also not at all surprised at their somewhat callous attitudes to your reactions to surgery and lifestyle changes.
I am not a great believer in medication for treating social/emotional and psychological problems brought about by the traumas of sudden lifestyle changes. It seems that prescribing medication is yet another way for medics to distance themselves from what is really going on within their patient's hearts and minds. Sure! it can sometimes help some people in the short-term, but, in essence, medication acts as a temporary 'prop' which, if the underlying conditions are not resolved, will lead to a let-down as soon as it is taken away.
The personal problems you describe are very familiar to me and to many others who have had major surgery that has changed their lives so dramatically. They may be the result of surgery and/or illness, but the main problems are often within ourselves and how we cope with the traumatic effects of 'trauma after-life', which is often described as Post Traumatic Stress.(PTS) Essentially, this condition can only be rectified by a reappraisal of our own stance towards our new set of circumstances. However, it can often be helped by finding someone else to 'listen' to what we have to say in an empathetic way (something that the medics seem to find difficult to do). Quite often, this listening role can be performed by close friends, but invariably the best solution is to find a professional who is well versed in the art of dealing with PTS. You do not have to continue to suffer in this way as there are a number of modern approaches to this problem which do not involve medication.
When I was involved in this sort of work I used to encourage people to think about it as a DIY process which can benefit enormously from the input of people who have 'been there, done that and got the teeshirt'.
Many of my ex-clients were reluctant to come off medication because, by doing so, they would lose their welfare benefits ( what an insensitive and uncaring system we have!). In order to resolve this dilemma I would prescribe 'SOCSAPINE' at doses of 10ml x2 per day and 120ml when necessary. Nobody ever questioned the 'precription' or the doses so the problem of welfare benefits was resolved and the 'patients' gradually got 'better' by virtue of this regime.
SOCSAPINE is an anagram for Self-Organised Common-Sense Alongside Participation In Normal Experiences; ml (regarding the doseage) is an abbreviation of 'Minutes Long'. Thus, they were being 'prescribed' a regime of helping themselves to regular doses of 'common sense' and practical experience of social participation. However, they were not left on their own to undertake this task as I ran individual and group sessions to facilitate their learning in this regard. They were 'taught' and encouraged to 'think' for themselves in a different way to that normally prescribed. This helped them to take control of their own wayward emotions and decide for themselves what life was going to be like in future, rather than allowing their thoughts and emotions to dictate how their lives would drift or become chaotic becuase it lacked appropriate control and management.
I have long-since retired from my professional role as a psychologist but I feel sure there will be others still in service who can help you with this sort of problem - even if they do not make up social/psychological 'prescriptions' to help circumvent the ignorance of the benefits system.