Hello. I'm new to all this. Still working out the forums. I've seen people giving so much advice and I'm reading so many blogs.
I have a colostomy bag, a permanent new addition to my body. Five weeks and counting. I'm not entirely sure how I'm feeling about it yet because I'm on my 5th cycle of chemo and my emotions are pretty crappy anyway. (No pun intended) ... too long a story to share so in short, I have bowel cancer, a tumor very large, had chemo to shrink the tumor before surgery. Surgery success, cancer gone, clean up chemo, 3 cycles left to go. My issue is sex. Apart from what my body has gone through, I'm ready to continue my sex life. My husband is more than eager and says he's glad I'm still alive and doesn't care about the stoma.
I'm the one who it's bothering. It's just there. Dangling like an extra piece of flappy skin and it farts like the clappers. As in, it sounds like someone clapping which has really put me off even trying to have sex. Now, I have a sense of humor, I really do and I'm hoping this is just a chemo, hormone blip. However, it really is making me uncomfortable. Also, I'm a plus-size lady so this thing sticks out like a sore thumb more than it would a smaller person. Again, chemo gain so it should shed when all is done but that's months away. I love my fella and even though he's a patient person, I feel I'm depriving him of normality because I hate my new accessory. Well, I don't hate it really. I actually find myself cradling it like a weird baby belly. Or praying it won't pop off, again.
I'm not sure if I'm looking for advice or if I'm asking if anyone else has or had this feeling of wanting to leave your own body for a little while until it's all over. Does it get easier? Please no one tell me to get one of those cover-up bands. It won't work on me. They just don't appeal to me. I'm still sore with a waistband. I'm struggling mentally to adjust sex-wise. Otherwise, I'm okay with it. I'm alive and I actually find my stoma fascinating. It's the bags I hate :(
Thanks for reading x
Hope you all have a lovely day.