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Ostomy Memories of Men's Underwear

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Fri Aug 14, 2020 7:27 am

Nowadays they have commercials on TV for everything from feminine hygiene products to male bent penis treatment. Just as with Donald Trump, after my initial disgust, I grew used to it, sort of. So I suppose that it’s acceptable for me now to discuss men’s underwear. As a kid, I wore jockey shorts. This was way back when the only choice was white. Somewhere along the way, I transitioned to boxer shorts [“Don’t mess with me. I’m wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.”] The ostomy surgery made the decision on this unique piece of apparel somewhat problematic. With the boxers, the location of my stoma was in a difficult spot. But if I hiked the shorts up too high, I felt like Little Lord Fauntleroy; too low, I got no support. So eventually, I went super sexy and began wearing bikini briefs. I got the necessary support and had no rub-on-the-stoma issues. These days, I have special ostomy underwear that includes an inner pocket to support the pouch when I exercise. I almost broke my neck a few times at first putting them on, but I’ve finally hit upon a workable method. All of which has caused me to think of a good way to distinguish middle age from old age: in middle age, I knew when I was going to have a good day by whether or not I could get into my underwear without holding onto the dresser; in old age, I’m ALWAYS holding onto the dresser.

Fri Aug 14, 2020 8:12 am

Yes I know as soon as I take one foot off the ground I start to tip over.

Fri Aug 14, 2020 8:27 am
xnine wrote:

Yes I know as soon as I take one foot off the ground I start to tip over.


I know all about that too.  One of the questions I'm always asked at doctor office visits is "Have you fallen over lately?"  My wife keeps trying to get me to do balance exercises on line, but I resist.  It's effin insulting.  George Burns once said, "You're only as old as the woman you feel."  I've been thinking of accosting the young wife across the street.

Fri Aug 14, 2020 8:33 am

Hilarious, Henry! Whether or not it was intended, you have aptly described the gymnastics involved in negotiating Spanx! They really should come with a disclaimer.

Laurie

Fri Aug 14, 2020 11:38 am
Padfoot wrote:

Hilarious, Henry! Whether or not it was intended, you have aptly described the gymnastics involved in negotiating Spanx! They really should come with a disclaimer.

Laurie


Life should come with a disclaimer, Laurie.  

Fri Aug 14, 2020 4:30 pm

Funny 😁.. holding on the the dresser.. in the old days we would just jump into our underwear!

Fri Aug 14, 2020 6:00 pm

I used to hold on to something to put them on, but I have decided it is easier to sit down put feet in then stand to pull them up. Boy the things that come up on this site. LOL

Fri Aug 14, 2020 6:47 pm
lovely wrote:

I used to hold on to something to put them on, but I have decided it is easier to sit down put feet in then stand to pull them up. Boy the things that come up on this site. LOL


I wish you could see the look on my husband's face when I tell him some of the things we talk about on this site. He says, "This is an ostomy site, right? And you're discussing JFK, freshwater jellyfish, motorcycles, politics, and more politics? Do you ever discuss ostomies?"😄

Laurie

Sat Aug 15, 2020 4:33 am

Don't have a problem putting on the knickers but tights/pantyhose are a different story!

Tue Sep 01, 2020 9:14 pm

Too funny. Yep, you men should have had the pleasure of panty hose. Those things are crazy to get on and I have not tried in many years. Not sure if holding on to something would even be in the neighborhood of a remedy! Lol thankfully they make thigh high hose but mostly, just do without any. 

Wed Sep 02, 2020 3:48 am
Puppyluv56 wrote:

Too funny. Yep, you men should have had the pleasure of panty hose. Those things are crazy to get on and I have not tried in many years. Not sure if holding on to something would even be in the neighborhood of a remedy! Lol thankfully they make thigh high hose but mostly, just do without any. 


One of the benefits of retirement:  I don't have to wear underwear all the time.

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