I’VE JUST DISCOVERED THAT the tinkerer who lives nearby and spends long evenings making odd sounds in his workshop has come up with something. He has invented a time machine. Although it kind of looks like a do-it-yourself project gone wrong, he swears that it will transport me through time. He says that, just two days before, he had tea with Shakespeare’s scrivener. So he asks me: do I want to try it? OMG, what do I do? DO I WANT TO GO BACK IN TIME, OR FORWARD INTO THE FUTURE?
Now, there’s a bit of a catch to this, he says. First of all, his time travel machine, being a prototype model, can only be programmed in 100-year increments. Well, that’s not a big deal, I say. But, he says, the next thing is that I have to sign a paper promising that I absolutely will not, under any circumstances, do anything that might alter history (if I go back in time), not can I take advantage of anything that I might learn about the future (should I time travel forward). Naturally, I would have no problem signing such a promise. What’s he going to do, sue me?
Third, he points out to me that, although he can program his time machine to take me wherever I want to go (England, Persia, Rome, wherever), I won’t be able to speak the language, and that could present a problem. Even in England, he reminds me, if I go back far enough, the language will not be any English that I recognize. This recalls the troubles I had reading Chaucer, and he was 14th Century.
DO I WANT TO GO BACK IN TIME, OR FORWARD?
Now, if I travel back in time, my superior knowledge could give me an edge if I run into any difficulties. On the other hand, health care back then being even worse than it is today, I might catch my death.
If I travel into the future, I might learn all sorts of cool things from futuristic technological advances that would make a smart phone seem antediluvian by comparison. On the other hand, I may find myself in Kevin Costner’s “Waterworld,” what with global warming and all, and I don’t know anything about operating boats. Then it occurs to me, I better ask him if I can take some ostomy supplies with me.
DO I WANT TO GO BACK IN TIME, OR FORWARD?
What would you do?

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ConnMan
I began my Urostomy life February 27th, 2023...a month and a half ago. I stumbled upon this site from another on Youtube and website called VeganOstomy and between that site and this one, most of my fear and worry of not having any answers other than calling the Dr's office recording menu and hoping to hear back in the next day or two for an answer to leaks, skin irritations etc, or just feeling alone and the "no one understands" thoughts I had to look forward to in my mind were all put to rest by these two websites and the community here at MaO!! I have been here for a few weeks now, and the help and support offered by the members here is just amazing!! The information and support is absolutely priceless for anyone recently out of their surgery and have tons of questions or had it for years...sit down...have a good read and you will see for yourself!!
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