Paddy2248 wrote: |
My name is Paddy,
I have had a stoma now since I was 27 and now early 40's they left a stump attached to my anus which it now seems to have the crohns in it not the actual removed bowel.
For years now my surgeon has been pushing me to have my anus removed and when I advised that I am gay and this is my sexual organ he was very unimpressed and quite rude
I then sort sexual psycological help in an attemot to try to become a top /active despite always being a btm / passive in a gay male relationship.
This did not change and further more due to the depression and mental health issues plus nerve damadge during surgery I am not able to always get an errection even with medication which make the use of my anus even more important as its the only form of sexual pleasure I will get.
I have read up that cancer survivers can have a procedure called Anterior Perineal Plane for ultra-low Anterior Resection which removes the rectum and replaced with some of their bowel and then reconnected removing the stoma.
Personally im not worried about reversal of the stoma and id keep it but the idea of having the rectum replaced to healthy bowel tissue which would allow me to have sex is a game changer for me. My only problem is this is seen as normal for cancer patients but not for crohns patients. I have also read up on human and equality rights as I am sure as a gay man I should not be assesed for this procedure as if I was a straight patient.
I totally get why you have asked this question as its not a case of just switching sexual positions would a straight man just go gay and have anal sex if he had his penis removed NO!
I'm new to this ostomate forum but not new to my ostomy I had the surgury in 2010. I'm faceing the same thing. My gastro says the stump is to pecarious to continue sniping pollupes. I can almost hear the sigh of relief with each pollup he removes. I'm on blood thiners and the UC has gotten much, much worse. BTW I had a stroke In 2007 the same year I lost my wife to lung cancer. I meant to explain why i spell phonically. the stroke took away my spelling skills along with many other things.
What my question is, is there a chance will I become impontent after the surgury. I am 72 but I have a normal sex drive and I don't want to lose that. Well I guess that's it for now oh yea how do i make my font larger.
Because of the stroke my mind wanders Zender I'm sure I'll have more questions.
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I have had a stoma now since I was 27 and now early 40's they left a stump attached to my anus which it now seems to have the crohns in it not the actual removed bowel.
For years now my surgeon has been pushing me to have my anus removed and when I advised that I am gay and this is my sexual organ he was very unimpressed and quite rude
I then sort sexual psycological help in an attempt to try to become a top /active despite always being a btm / passive in a gay male relationship.
This did not change and further more due to the depression and mental health issues plus nerve damadge during surgery I am not able to always get an errection even with medication which make the use of my anus as a sex organ even more important as its the only form of sexual pleasure I would get.
I have read up that cancer survivers can have a procedure called Anterior Perineal Plane for ultra-low Anterior Resection which removes the rectum and replaced with some of their bowel and then reconnected removing the stoma.
Personally im not worried about reversal of the stoma and id keep it but the idea of having the rectum replaced to healthy bowel tissue which would allow me to have sex is a game changer for me. My only problem is this is seen as normal for cancer patients but not for crohns patients. I have also read up on human and equality rights as I am sure as a gay man I should not be assesed for this procedure as if I was a straight patient.
I just wish my Uk docotrs would see that not all men are the same and not all sexualities are the same, it also really worries me that as a single male with no working sexual organs im basically no use to anyone and destined to be on my own.
I totally understand your concerns and all I can say is make sure you get all the facts and look at all the options before making any decision