The disappearing ink of my memory started fading some time ago. My pre-ostomy time is almost entirely gone. I was 21 when they did the surgery; I am 78 now. What it was like to be a person without this thing attached to my belly, I cannot recall. It is as lost as a spare coin. When you go back fifty years in your mind, rivers become tributaries, tributaries become trickles. That hard-working hippocampus, whose job it is to send out memories to the appropriate part of the cerebral hemisphere for long-term storage and then to retrieve them when necessary, has carelessly let his union card lapse. That is when that mischievous scamp imagination enters the picture. He will mess with your mind; he will cause you to wonder where that wavering, phantasmagoric line is between reality and fantasy. That bully ego begins to hang around too, bolstering, embroidering, exaggerating. Memory, after a long, long ride through time, develops carbuncles. Do you want to know what wonder is? Wonder is that startling, unsettling notion that occurs to you, long afterwards: Did I really do that?
Hello HenryM.
There is a sense in which I can now look back and relax about loss of memory, for mine has always been poor. Yet, in my old-age, I can confidently put this down to the aging process, whereas before I was loath to admit to the failing.
For me, the lack of an effective memory had an unexpected side-effect, in that it encouraged me to 'THINK'.
Each time I faced a question or problem (without an effective memory) I needed to think my way through it afresh. I enjoyed and appreciated this skill/ability and would not have swapped it for a memory, even if I could.
One of the other things that I did to compensate, was to take up writing my thoughts down in rhyme. Tus, whenever I need to remind myself of things I thought about in the past, I simply read my own rhymes and the sentiments come flooding back. (or not, as the case may be!)
Also, thinking things afresh each time they crop up, means that I rarely have a fixed/dogmatic view on anything. Sometimes it is extremely useful to be able to view things from multiple perspectives.
Best wishes
Bill
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Hi Hatlady and all,
I've had my ostomy for over 50 years, since I was a kid, and didn't think I really needed to be part of the ostomy site. But once active, I came to realize, that although I may not need help at the time, I was able to reach out and help others in need. Back in the day, before stoma therapists, I use to visit new patients in the hospital or homes ... While professionals are great, it is also good to be able to speak with people with personal experience. I was a free member for awhile, but after writing often, I was given free months. I then started paying, and decided to just take lifetime membership. After all, I was going to have my ostomy for the rest of my life. I'm one of those people who can disappear for a few months at a time, but I'm always glad that the site is here, I can return and reconnect with old friends, and make new ones. This is an excellent site ... Best regards to all ... and Best wishes for a Healthy and Happy New Year.