Ostomy Memories of Envy

I ENVY THE KANGAROO RAT. There, I’ve said it. I have made my terrible confessional, my public admission of a cardinal sin. These little 4 oz. beasties that you could hold in the palm of your hand have an ability that I wish that I had: they have no need to hydrate (a verb that has replaced the formerly acceptable combination of a verb and noun: drink water). My ileostomy led to kidney damage and today my “medicinal” dosage of water is 96 oz. per day. I also enjoy two cups of black coffee, the highlight of my morning. But the tiny kangaroo rat has an abnormally low metabolic rate which reduces loss of water through its skin and respiratory system. The Merriam’s kangaroo rat, a specific species, obtains enough water from the metabolic oxidation of the seeds it eats to survive without having to drink any water, a handy and life-enhancing ability for a desert dweller. Constantly having to drink water all day is sometimes a pain in the patoot, and thus I envy this tiny rodent its advantage. It also happens to be known for its promiscuous mating practices, which might have attracted me as a teenager, but which I certainly do not envy at my age. Nor do I envy the little kangaroo rat all its hungry predators. As a human, I only suffer one potential predator: other humans.

Hello HenryM.

I was fascinated enough by your account of kangaroo rats to look them up.  Interestingly, the very first picture was of four human hunters leaning on their newly shot gaint kangaroo rat 'trophy'. However, hunting was not the reason given for the species to have been put on the 'endangered' list. This was down to the usual human destruction of the environment for their own greed and gratification.

That aside, I have often wondered about the smaller version of this little creature as, many years ago, when working in a desert-like environment of a nylon factory, one such rodent appeared from nowhere and hopped across the floor right in front of me. I did not know what it was at the time and, even if I had looked it up, they were not supposed to be resident in the UK, so I probably would not have been confident about my identification. However, as with many of these 'one-off' surprising incidents, the image has stayed with me all these years. Hence, I thank you for drawing the species to my attention, as I can now boast (to myself) that I (may) have seen one first-hand and a long way from (its) home.

Best wishes

Bill   

Hi Henry

What's a kangaroo rat? XX

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Kangaroo rat

It just looks like a rat? Does it jump? Sorry if I'm being a bit dumb lol 😂 XX

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Just like a kangaroo, this little fellow has long back legs and short front legs, so he does bound a bit like his bigger namesake, thus his name. 

Oh, I didn't see them; I was just looking at the face and long tail 😂 xx