IF YOU HAVE AN OSTOMY, you have belly burps. If you have cats, you have cat puke. These are unavoidable truisms. Many felines have upchuck reflexes about which one can do nothing but reach for the paper towels and spray cleaner. I have four cats, and so I have grown used to that familiar sound – AAAAK, AAAAK, BURRK, BLAHHHH – but there is one disturbingly common aspect to this repetitive regurgitation: if there are floor spaces with carpeting, and floor spaces without carpeting, the cat will choose to puke on the carpeting nine times out of ten. It is very annoying. Often, I have found, the puke will spurt out onto an area rug just inches from the hardwood floor, as if the cat was trying its best to make it to the rug and just barely got there before the burst exploded. Cats seem to have an aversion to halfway measures. If they’re going to make you clean up their puke, they’re bound and determined to make you utilize every tool at your disposal. Get out the cleanser; grab the stain remover; don’t forget the scrub brush. AAAAK, AAAK, BURRK, BLAHHHH.