Hello there. In April 2022, I was rushed to the ER due to a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. I had found out I was pregnant a few days before, and now on my way to the operating room table, I was told I probably would be losing my fallopian tubes. Never had children, 38 years old, and when I woke up from surgery, I was told I have one good tube left, which I was happy about. A few days of being in the hospital, I had tremendous pain, which the doctors thought mimicked appendicitis. Tests after tests, nothing found, I was rushed back into the operating room. When I finally woke up, I was in tremendous pain, colostomy bag placed, j pouches and all. I was told I had a hole in my colon, and it was partially removed. I was in the hospital for close to a month with everything that can go wrong happened - multiple blood transfusions, serious infections, fevers, etc. I pretty much almost died more than once. The next two months were filled with so much pain, and on top of that, a wound vac to help close my gyn surgical wound. That wound vac sucked so much, but it helped heal my wound. Now in month three, I'm just starting to walk again but have a slight hunchback from all the issues I had. Long story short, this has been a whirlwind, and emotionally I've been up and down. Of course, I have family support, but I just would like to hear from you on how you dealt with your emotional baggage. How do you keep a positive outlook? I am so appreciative that I was saved, but I also feel selfish for feeling sad, and I think the ostomy bag has been so depressing. Soon I'll be back at work, and I don't know how I'll manage that as well along with bag changing and so forth. But really, I came to this group so I can get some help navigating through the emotions. I would love to hear your thoughts.