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Advice please (cover and intimacy)

Thu Aug 04, 2022 10:37 am
"MeetAnOstoMate is the best website for people with an Ostomy. So much understanding. Everyone should join."

I am 10 mos with my ileostomy. My stoma is lower than pictures i’ve seen. There’s no way i can wear my appliance on the outside of my pants.  Also any pressure from clothes on my stoma is uncomfortable and painful. I have been unable to find a cover that will stay on.  I also would like advice on intimacy from the ladies. Thank you in advance

Thu Aug 04, 2022 11:51 am

You can’t wear it on the outside cause it’ll show or your stoma is so low, it has to be under your pants? A stoma guard/shield would protect against the pressure from any clothes. Most store bought pouch covers will fall right off once you get any output in the bag and it changes its original shape. I think you’d have to have custom made ones that fit your bag in order for them to have a chance to stay on. 

MeetAnOstoMate - 27,789 members
Thu Aug 04, 2022 3:22 pm

Alex.....I think she means she can't find a protective cover for her stoma that will stay on, not a bag cover.  Since most stoma covers or protectors rely on a belt to stay in place I can see why it would move around if under your clothes.  There are a LOT of stoma cover designs out there to try, but this one, or one like it, might work for you.  It attaches to a baseplate you put on under your bag, so it can't come off.  If I misunderstood your problem just let me know.  Here's a link to check out;

https://www.stomaprotector.com/stoma-protector-design/

;O)

bob

Thu Aug 04, 2022 6:51 pm

Not sure of your question. Are you asking because the actual location of your stoma is "low," meaning near or on your belt-line?

Thu Aug 04, 2022 7:55 pm

I wear elastic waist pants and let my appliance hang between my underwear and my pants. I wear a kinda long blouse and it hides that shape of the bag. Hope this helps.

Sat Aug 06, 2022 6:05 am


Silveradokid wrote:

Not sure of your question. Are you asking because the actual location of your stoma is "low," meaning near or on your belt-line?

It is 3-4 inches below my belt line. 

Sat Aug 06, 2022 11:46 am

I wear a stealth belt with pads that slip in over your pouch. Go to stealthbelt.com for details. It is not cheap but it is worth every penny. I have had mine for almost 10 years now. Totally washable and long lasting. Mike

Sun Aug 07, 2022 11:31 am

I came across this on Amazon recently because I was look for something to keep my ostomy bag from interfering with intimate moments. I hope this is helpful. 
be well, alan

Azdancer
Nurse
Sun Aug 07, 2022 6:23 pm

Look up mrcolitiscrohns on Instagram, He has a terrific belt that he sells, I believe they are $85 and he will help you with the correct size and it is an absolutely wonderful belt. Not like any other belt I have seen anywhere. My stoma is also right at my waist and I always have a problem finding the proper clothing but with the belt I have no issues.


_________________
RN, BHA
Sun Aug 07, 2022 6:49 pm


Azdancer wrote:

Look up mrcolitiscrohns on Instagram, He has a terrific belt that he sells, I believe they are $85 and he will help you with the correct size and it is an absolutely wonderful belt. Not like any ot...

It looks just like one another company sells. 

Mon Aug 08, 2022 8:21 am

I too am confused about your question. If elastic or something tight is over the stoma, it will be uncomfortable. I have a stealth belt, but only use it in the car to eliminate the seat belt pressing on the bag. This takes trying different things. My stoma is below the waist and belly button to the right. The only waist band I need be concerned with is underwear. There are many to choose from to ensure the top of the undies are above or at the top of the pouch. I always ensure my pouch has a little "air" in it so that it is not totally flat. When totally flat, there is more opportunity for clothing to irritate the stoma, as well as the output. If your pouch has a filter, put tape over it and add some air! It also helps with pancaking. I hope this advice is helpful.

Mon Aug 08, 2022 10:11 am

Look into the Stealth belt (stealthbelt.com); it is made out of neoprene which tends to cushion the stoma.  I'm wearing mine as I'm writing this reply.  Also, they have companion products that offer even more protection (i.e. Stoma Dome, Stoma Guard).  They work with the belt to offer greater flexibility.  The other advantage for me is the fact that the belt softens all the edges of the pouch so that it is virtually undetectable beneath my shirt.  I do a lot of outdoor physical activities, and it is the best I've found for securing my appliance.  It works equally well for 1-piece or 2-piece pouches.  Good luck, and don't be afraid to experiment with different products.  It took me a while, but I can keep a pouch on for 5 days with no issues (and my skin looks great).

Mon Aug 08, 2022 10:56 am

What's your question re: intimacy specifically?

Mon Aug 08, 2022 4:24 pm

IF I HELPS, OSTOMY COVERS ARE AVAILABLE AT AMAZON AND ALSO AT ETSY.COM.  THEY HAVE A VARIETY OF COVERS MADE BY A VARIETY OF COMPANY AND SOME CAN EVEN BE ORDERED CUSTOM TO YOUR SPECS.

Mon Aug 08, 2022 5:53 pm

Hiya!

I recently took one of my bags and cut it to a small as possible size and then resealed it with our Foodsaver machine - it’s basically a homemade stoma cap just using what I have on hand at home.

It has come in really handy for showering. I just cover my stoma with a little piece of gauze abs then snap it just like a regular two piece bag. 

The plan is also to use this when the time comes for intimacy. I’m not quite ready, but my hubby has assured me he is ready when I am. There is a lot of cute lingerie out there that can cover the new mini bag and still allow for  a fun time. 

I do have a colostomy which is pretty predictable, so I’d love to hear some advice for you from ladies who have on illyostomy and are navigating intimacy.

Mon Aug 08, 2022 6:49 pm

I've had my ileostomy for 11 months now. And the same for me. Nothing seems comfortable except light flowing dresses and panties with no waistband.  I used to try leggings but never really comfortable . I've been with hubby for around 6 years.  It doesn't bother him as far as intimacy is concerned.  I have 1 cover that we bought through etsy.  At first I wore it to drs. Appointments.  Now. I don't even bother.

Mon Aug 08, 2022 8:04 pm

I bought new underwear on Amazon : wirarpa womens cotton highwaisted briefs. They are comfortable and come up above my stoma. I tuck the bag inside and as long as it’s empty it’s very smooth looking.

As far as intimacy goes, I just lay a hand towel over my midsection and my husband is okay with that solution. At first he was afraid he would hurt me but I reassured him that it doesn’t hurt.

Hope this helps.

Mon Aug 08, 2022 8:07 pm


lovely wrote:

I wear elastic waist pants and let my appliance hang between my underwear and my pants. I wear a kinda long blouse and it hides that shape of the bag. Hope this helps.

This is similar to what I do as well.  I try to have the elastic on my stretchy pants above the stoma and have the pants be loose enough that they don't hurt my stoma.  It is hot to have the bag between my underwear and pants in the summer and sometimes sweat accumulates on my underwear but I haven't found a good work around for that.  I've also tried some of the panties from ostomysecrets.  Not cheap but they work well to support the bag and are less bulky than other wraps. Some people wear a pair of bikini underwear that is under their stoma and then a pair of granny panties that goes above and they have the bag between them.  I have also purchased lacy wraps from ostomy secrets for date nights.  

Tue Aug 09, 2022 5:21 am


MairiC wrote:

What's your question re: intimacy specifically?

I haven’t been intimate in over 2 years. I wanted to know what to cover the bag with   in case

Tue Aug 09, 2022 8:56 am


Nadjadi wrote:

I haven’t been intimate in over 2 years. I wanted to know what to cover the bag with   in case

Cover it with what you like and feel confident in, most guys aren’t gonna notice it as there are other things on their mind at that moment. 

Tue Aug 09, 2022 6:34 pm


Nadjadi wrote:

It is 3-4 inches below my belt line. 

Dresses are most comfortable especially with soft mens boxers underneath. 

Wed Aug 10, 2022 7:42 am

I got some high waisted lace thongs from a company called Wacoal but I'm sure there are other companies. They're very light and don't press on the stoma at all.  I can't wear my bag on the outside, I feel more secure with it worn at an angle and nice and tucked into my underwear. And I'm gonna just put this out there because, well, we've all shared our poop stories so we know each other on a certain level  ---  lightweight crotchless high waisted lace thongs.   

Wed Aug 10, 2022 10:21 am


eefyjig wrote:

I got some high waisted lace thongs from a company called Wacoal but I'm sure there are other companies. They're very light and don't press on the stoma at all.  I can't wear my bag on the outside...

Your husband is a lucky man. 🤭😮😁

Wed Aug 10, 2022 12:09 pm

There's a product I found that was awesome. Check out ostomysecrets it helped me a bunch. Good luck :o)

Thu Aug 11, 2022 3:35 am

I use the Coloplast products. They are soft, flexible and very comfortable. They have a large line to choose from and will send you free samples. 

Sat Aug 13, 2022 8:35 pm


AlexT wrote:

Your husband is a lucky man. 🤭😮😁

😂 Necessity is the mother of invention! I mean, I didn't invent them but they do the trick. And they're made for anyone!

Sat Aug 13, 2022 9:02 pm


eefyjig wrote:

😂 Necessity is the mother of invention! I mean, I didn't invent them but they do the trick. And they're made for anyone!

Hot damn. 😮

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