Hi everyone, I'm back and very much have my life on track. Some of you will remember my very debated post about a year ago, regarding the verbal abuse I was receiving from my husband. Well, finally after almost 41 years of marriage I could not handle it any longer. I was continually being told that I should not have had my ileo and was better off before it. Who the hell was he to judge, he could not possibly understand what it was like for me before. I doubt he will never know what it is like to have an accident in public! So, here I am on my own and looking forward to never having to put up with any more crap!. I look forward to hearing from anyone else whose ostomy has placed extreme stress on their relationship. I put up with it for 6 years and I suppose it's like women who are physically abused, they stay and stay, because one day things might get better. Believe me a person is never going to change their personality. Look forward to hearing from you all again.
janee
Mar 17, 2011 10:38 pm
tippitop
Mar 18, 2011 12:12 am
Hi Janee,
I missed your original posts, but what I read this evening has me furious! Angry that anyone could have treated you so badly. I am so pleased that you had the strength and the courage to turn your life around. I know from my own experience how one can feel so hurt and rejected simply because you chose life.
I shan't use all the platitudes which tempt me. I truly hope that others in a similar and devastating position take up the support you are offering.
An inspirational lady.
Much love and respect.
Tricia.
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Posted by: iMacG5
About seven years ago, just about every aspect of my life was ostomy related. From the moment I was told an ostomy might be needed until some months down the road I existed as a person afflicted with a colostomy. I feared someone other than my immediate family might find out I had a bag. Ugh! What could be worse? Suppose it filled real fast when I was out with no place to hide and take care of myself. God forbid should it leak in church! Suppose I roll over on it in bed. I was a lesser creature, destined to a life of emotional anguish and physical routines different from most of the rest of the world. I felt like a freak. Then I found folks like you guys here, read your stuff, really “listened” to what you had to say and I began looking at things differently. We know perception is everything and I began to understand how good things were relative to what they could’ve been. So many folks had it so much worse than I did. That didn’t make my discomfort go away but it exposed how fortunate I was to be dealing with my stuff and not their’s. I felt a little guilt, maybe selfishness but quickly forgave myself by understanding I just wasn’t smart enough to fix my feelings. Then, I wonder what smarts have to do with feelings. My perception was warped so my perspective toward my existence was warped.
I learned over the last few years with the help of lots of folks right here at MAO that I could be better at living just by accepting some facts. It is what it is and so what? It’s not the worst thing to happen to a person.
I think everything is, in some way, related to everything else. I just put the ostomy thing in the back seat and drive forward.
Respectfully,
Mike
Mystified
Mar 18, 2011 5:12 pm
Really angry?
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Feeling abused because some doctor saved your life? Ok...that was me. Being rushed to the hospital by ambulance and not knowing a thing that was going on. Hell...I don't even remember the ambulance guys putting me on the stretcher and hauling my ass to the hospital.
This was July 31, 2010, and since that date, I had a colonoscopy and had my butt closed off so that I now had to poop in a bag! What in God's name is this all about? I had no idea what was going on until August 3rd when they told me the doctor still had more surgery to do on me.
So...now I lay in a hospital bed not knowing what was to come next. I keep calling for the nurse or the aide to come in and change my bed because the little bag that was attached to my belly was so full it just exploded.
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I don't understand where all of this poop is coming from. I could go for a week or even 10 days without doing any pooping job before having my ileostomy.
Now, on April 7th, I am scheduled for my reversal. After the doctor checked out the parts that were or were not removed back in July, he said there would be no problem. He would take care of the hernia that was growing under my stoma which has also grown. I would only have to be in the hospital for 5 to 7 days and I would be all put back to normal.
Now, I'm scared because of the pending surgery. I guess the anticipation of going back under anesthesia and the surgeon's skillful hands...I guess that's understandable!
Barbie
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Past Member
Mar 18, 2011 8:03 pm
Actually, it's more mental than physical.
You have a few days of discomfort, treatable with
some morphine (try it, you'll like it,
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Then it is the mental and therapy. Took me a month
to learn to walk again; I was in the hospital for three months.
But now I am like a new man, do all my own
gardening, even crawled up in the attic to do some repair work.
Please, though, don't blame God.
Think of the alternative to having the surgery. Besides, you still have a lot of time to get on with your life.
God bless.
mooza
Mar 19, 2011 8:28 pm
Hey Janee, looks like you got rid of some bad stuff. Good for you, darlz xx. Haven't spoken to you yet. Pat yourself on the back
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. Bet it's the best bit of sh*t you ever cleaned up... Mare from Australia xx
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Getting Support in the Ostomy Community with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister
