There was a man

Dec 12, 2012 10:32 am


There was a man from Oswestry (UK)

who had to have an ostomy.(OK)

He had no use for his old bum

for faeces flowed from out his tum.

Like the man I knew from York

who resorted to a cork.

But he knew eventually

he’d have to have an ostomy.

Then there’s the man from London town

who used to make his trousers brown.

But now he doesn’t have that drag

for he can simply wear a bag.

There was a man who came from Wales

had trouble with his own entrails.

But when the surgeon used the knife

the ostomy gave back his life.

There was a man from Brechin City

whose life could be described as shitty.

Until that day he had the op

‘twas then his shittiness did stop.

There was a man I knew from Kent

whose life had been in toilets spent.

Then suddenly he was set free

when once he had his ostomy.

There was a man that came from Leeds

who had unmentionable needs.

I cannot go right into it.

suffice to say, it concerned shit.

Once I met a man from Herts

who suffered with his rectal parts.

But like the other’s, said to me

his saviour was his ostomy.

B. Withers 2012

Past Member
Dec 12, 2012 9:54 pm

Nice one, Bill. Hope there's more to come. I've not been around on the site. I had a bad bout of undigested food, but recovering now. Take care, Ambies.

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Dec 12, 2012 10:55 pm

Thanks, Bill. That's really great! Karen x

Dec 13, 2012 12:38 am

Another man, from Kentucky, also had an ostomy. He read your poem, which made him smile. He thought, "I'll rhyme you back awhile." He sat and set his brain to work, his duty to the forum, not to shirk. After a while, he began to fret. He couldn't get a rhyme just yet. His poor brain, he racked and racked. He just couldn't quite get the knack. Perhaps he'd have himself a smoke, that might give his brain a poke. Come on now, brain, give me a rhyme. You've had long enough, it's high time. At last, he thought, I've had enough. I just can't do this rhyming stuff.

Dec 13, 2012 12:38 am

Sorry, Bill. I didn't get the spacing correct... Too bad. It was a cute poem.

Words of Encouragement from Ostomy Advocates I Hollister
Dec 13, 2012 1:08 am

Reposted it in the forum

Dec 13, 2012 4:43 am


Dec 13, 2012 6:26 am
Thank you everyone for your comments, they are much appreciated. Ambies:-- sorry to hear that you have not been well but it's good to know that you now have it under control. Mild-mannered-super-hero:--- I just loved the rhyme but disagreed with the statement that you can't do the rhyming stuff -- Well done! It was great - and makes for an 'interesting' form of communication. My wife and I indulge in such rhyming conversation quite well and quite often.Just as an aside:--I took advice from an 'expert' on how to get the verses into a reasonable format for posting on this site and he said that I needed 'soft' returns rather than 'hard'returns in the text. The solution to this is as follows:--- (In Microsoft Word) On the top menue: Format 'reveal all formatting' -- should bring up a side window;-- tick the box 'show all formatting marks' (every line will now be followed by what looks like a backwards P) -- On the top menue:--'Editreplace':--- should bring up a 'find and replace' box:-- find what: ^p --replace with ^l (lower case ell)---click on the button 'replace all'. The backwards P will be replaced with a backwards arrow. I then copy and past it into this site. It works quite well for me in that I can type all the verse in Microsoft Word before I transfer it here.Best wishesBill
Dec 15, 2012 10:04 am


Dec 19, 2012 9:29 am

There is also a man from Pontypool who has some problems with loose stool. Wonderful poem Bill. Made me laugh, and feel part of the stoma club. Had an ileostomy 7 months ago. Merry Christmas to everyone. Tankwart

Dec 19, 2012 12:52 pm
Thank you very much tankwartfor your kind, poetic thought.It brings to mind the man from Rhylwho had too many bags to fill.So he shared some with a manway down in Monmouthshire's Cwmbran.Best wishes Bill