When I first had an ostomy

WHEN I FIRST HAD AN OSTOMY.

When I first had an ostomy
nothing ever was to me
so full of incongruity
and packed with ambiguity.

At first I felt the strangest thing
like something’s good but with a sting.
For though it was necessitous
it also felt calamitous.

My life had been unbearable
with colon un-repairable.
So I was pleased it could be changed
by having tubing rearranged.

Given all the antecedents
I should have had more confidence.
Why would I fear an ostomy
protruding from the front of me?

But when the thoughts within my head
changed to reality instead,
the clash of feelings was so strong
at every turn, something felt wrong.

I knew I had to have the op.
but these weird feelings would not stop.
Seeing this thing upon my side
made me want to run and hide.

Sometimes one’s confidence can fade
after a major leap is made.
But when something is just a must
it seems more easy to adjust.

When first I had an ostomy
a mass of doubt came over me.
But with the passing of the years
this ostomy’s allayed those fears.

B. Withers 2013

Those are some pretty powerful words there, Mr. Bill Withers. I would love to hear from you as time goes by and you've had some time to let all this sink in a little. It is most definitely a life changer. Please don't quit posting and blogging!

Hello Calico. Thank you for your comments on this verse as the feedback is very much appreciated. Having an ostomy certainly was a life-changer for me. However, as intimated in my verses, those changes were both advantageous as well as disadvantageous. so it leaves me in an ambiguous frame of mind. I am not a paid up member of this site so unfortunately I cannot comunicate with people other than via postings on blogs,forums, or if paid members communicate with me first -- then I can reply. At present I have enough verses surrounding the subject of ostomies to continue blogging at the rate of one per month for at least 2014. However, I have resisted the temptation to post those that delve deeply into the darker side of emotional and psychological matters as I feel they are somewhat peripheral to the practicalities of having an ostomy. Also, as I re-read them, they tend to take my thoughts back to the times when this was how I actually felt (depressed, resentful, angry etc.)and I would rather not re-visit that stuff or help other people to do so. Thus they have all been documented and stored for prosperity elsewhere. Best wishes Bill