It'll be 6 months from my surgery in 2 days, and up until now I thought I was dealing and adjusting with all of this pretty well. Then all of a sudden, out of the blue I wasn't! I don't know what triggered it, maybe planning on seeing some relatives this weekend I haven't seen in 40 years? The fact that I not only have 2 stomas, but also now developed a hernia the size of a small watermelon? Whatever the reason, it sucks!
The hernia is actually causing me more grief then the actual colostomy. It's very uncomfortable not to mention impossible to hide, no matter how big a shirt I buy! Surgery is not an option for me since I have a pretty severe case of COPD and I'm oxygen 24/7.
I know I just need to put my big girl panties on and move on, but all of a sudden it's not so easy? Rather I'm sitting here crying feeling sorry for myself. I'm thinking this reunion coming up in just 2 days with a few of my long lost relatives is what triggered it. I certainly didn't look like this 40 years ago! Not counting the normal aging process, which is no big deal to me, I now have this huge belly looking like I'm 6 months pregnant, and the worry they will smell me sometime during our visit. The oxygen doesn't even bother me since I've grown to being used to the tubing going up my nose and being attached to a portable oxygen machine when out and about.
I know there is nothing anyone can do, but maybe just some words of encouragement might help?? I want to be strong, I prayed for God to give me the strength to get through this rough patch, but for some reason I'm having a little glitch??